Page 28 of Filthy and Dirty with the Bikers

God, what am I going to do? I’m about to lose my shop, I have nowhere to live, and as much as I love Rhett, I can’t transfer all my responsibilities onto him.

“Where’s Maverick?”

“He had a call come in. He’ll be in Rugged Mountain the rest of the night.” Rhett leans back in the recliner by the fireplace and pulls me onto his lap. “Holden should be here any minute now. Are you going to tell him about the baby?”

The baby.It’s not just a pregnancy. There’s a human child growing inside of me. The panic comes back again, but Rhett senses my stress before it gets out of control and lands his hand on my stomach, rubbing in small circles as the fireplace crackles beside us.

This is what I’ve always wanted. A big, giant of a man whowantsto hold me.

That’s all I’ll ever need.

My mind flutters sideways, and for a second, I picture a random Christmas morning with Rhett and I snuggled up like this while our kids tear open gifts that were left under the tree. The house smells like pine and cinnamon, and though we lovewatching the kids open gifts, we love sitting in this chair rocking even more.

A single finger drags up the center of my back before Rhett’s lips land on my forehead. “What are you thinkin’ about, trouble?”

“About us.”

“What about us?” His voice is rough and graveled.

I can’t help but smile. “I was just picturing us right here with a houseful of kids.”

“A houseful now? I guess I need to get to that addition. We’ll need rooms for everyone, and I reckon a bigger kitch—”

The doorbell rings and the warm comfort I’d been enjoying runs for the hills as anxiety sleds on in. It’s not that I don’t want to see Holden. I do. Leaving his office today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m completely unhinged right now, and I don’t want to ruin his life and all he’s worked for. Besides that, I’ve never seen him outside the brick walls of that old bank.

How do I stand? Should I have changed my clothes, done my hair, or fixed my makeup? It was okay this morning, but I’ve been crying on and off all day long. I’m sure I look like a mess. Then again, I looked like a mess earlier too.

Rhett stands from the chair, spilling me into a standing position. “You okay?” His hands cup my face as he stares down at me. “Hold my hand. I’ll be right here next to you.”

I do as he’s asked, losing my hand in his giant palm as we walk away from the heat of the fireplace toward the door where Holden stands on the other side in dark wash jeans and a button down that’s rolled up at the sleeves, displaying the tattoos that had been hidden earlier, and his MC cut. It’s him, but it’s… not.

“Molly.” Holden’s deep voice is immediately soothing, but it’s strange to see him here like this, outside of his office, in the real world.

I really should seek out another therapist. This time, a female for sure. An older woman who has old-fashioned sensibilities. Someone who can talk some sense into me. Someone who can steer me back toward reality and away from the dirty, filthy thoughts I’m currently having about these three men.

“Brave man riding in this weather.” Rhett holds out his hand and they do the obligatory man handshake. It’s a short and firm sort of move that makes both their biceps flex, and makes me,well…horny, though that could be stress talking again. Right now, I’d pay these men to take me away to a place where I could forget about all the changes happening around me.

“Ah, it’s a nice night. I wouldn’t have ridden in that shit that was fallin’ yesterday. This time of year it’s just nice to get a ride in when you can.” Holden clears his throat and glances toward me before reaching out for a hug. He presses his giant body firmly against mine and holds me so tight that I feel the bulge of his cock against my thigh. He’s not hard, but he’s there. Very, very, noticeably there.

He groans low as he steps back and lets out a sigh as though letting go is a chore he isn’t ready to do yet.

Rhett picks up on this too and his arms go folded in front of his widening chest, reminding me of the day he gave me the redneck stitches out at the lake. He was extra protective of me that night. I think he was afraid I was going to hurt myself again, so he kept everyone at bay until I fell asleep. Then, he slept beside me on the bedroom floor. Looking back, that had to of been torture. The floors at that lake cabin were lumpy as hell. I bet they were cold, too.

“Welcome to the mess that is my life.” I let out a quick breath as I stare at Holden. I need to keep this short and sweet. The conversation we had earlier was clear. No matter what Holden and I feel for each other, there’s no future for us. Therecan’t be. If I care about him, I need to respect that and give him space.

Easier said than done, especially with all these escape fantasies rattling through my brain. Also, he shouldn’t be allowed to walk around in jeans that tight.

“Rhett already told me news about Tyler being a catfishing asshole. I don’t need to talk about it if that’s what you’re here for.”

Holden narrows his eyes. “You sure about that? It’s a pretty big deal. You’ve always been really serious about your privacy.”

“Well, now my tits are out there for everyone to see… so, yeah. I should’ve known he was doing something stupid. The man went years without taking a single photo of me, then all the sudden, he wanted pictures.” I sigh. “Anyway… I really don’t want to talk about it tonight, so what else you got?”

I glance toward Rhett then Holden, trying not to imagine the fantasy where they undress me and each have their way with my body. One by one they lick me from head to toe and breathe their hot breath all over my desperate skin. But again, that’s only a fantasy.

“You mind if I sit?” Holden settles in the armchair next to the kitchen, holding a beer in his hand. I didn’t notice he had one. Rhett must have given it to him when I went into my littlelick me from head-to-toefantasy. God, hopefully I wasn’t drooling. I wipe my sleeve over my chin just to be sure, then join the guys in the living room.

Holden holds my gaze and leans forward. “I assume we’ll talk about what happened with Tyler in therapy tomorrow. Does that work? It should give you some time to process everything.”

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