Page 29 of Filthy and Dirty with the Bikers

“Wewere done with therapy, right? I thought…” I clear my throat, unsure of how to word what happened. I don’t want tothrow him to the wolves, though I don’t think Rhett would say anything.

Holden leans forward slightly, brushing his hand down over his short beard. “Can I be blunt?”

I pause, unsure of what comes after a question like that. Why do I hope it’s something sexual?

“Please.” I’ve said the word, but my stomach flips and tightens as though I should’ve shown him the door instead. This day has been weird enough. I’m not sure I can take anymore.

Holden’s gaze locks with mine. “After our session today, I did a lot of thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he clears his throat, “and I have a proposition.”

I open my mouth to speak, but the word‘proposition’has every drop of wetness accumulating in my groin, so there’s nothing left to lubricate my throat.

Rhett squeezes my shoulder and speaks for me. “What kind of proposition are we talking about?”

“It’s simple.” Holden speaks clear and confident as though he’s practiced this speech a million times over. “I’m in love with you, Molly. This feeling is here and real, and it’s not going away. Unfortunately, an outward relationship with you would mean my license, my practice, my livelihood. I haven’t found a way around all that yet. So… I’m asking for one night a week. One night where I get you.All of you.We meet privately here, or at the clubhouse, or even in my office.”

Rhett laughs. “Umm… what?”

I open my mouth again, then smack my lips together trying to find wetness to speak, but nothing comes out. And truthfully, I’m not sure what I’d say if it did.

Rhett stares down at me, holding his breath for a long moment before finally looking back toward Holden. “Are you crazy, man?”

“I think so.” He clears his throat and leans his back against the winged chair in the corner of the room. “I’ve never felt like this before. It’s… the urge is uncontrollable, like nothing else can be right until I have her.” Holden’s gaze meets mine with heat. “I can stay away and tell you I don’t want you, but we both know saying the words don’t make them true.”

Swallowing hard, I stay locked on Holden’s gaze. “I don’t want you to lose everything. The risk is too much. Tyler is looking for reasons to fuck with me right now. If he finds out—”

“He won’t. We’ll be careful. If… I’m sorry.” Holden clears his throat. “That’s assuming this is something you’re interested in.”

“You know I am. I just… I’m worried for you. You’ve worked so hard.”

“He’s right, Molly.” Rhett lands his hand on my back. “If this is something you want, we can make it happen.”

“What?”

“Your harem. I think you’re fantasizing about it because you need support. Holden, Maverick, and I offer different forms of that. You deserve it all,” he glances toward Holden, “but you can’t be a temporary thing here. If you want her, you have to commit all the way.”

“He can’t! He’s worked too—”

“I like this guy, Molly.” Holden grins and tugs on his ear. “He’s right. And to be clear, my love for Molly isn’t temporary. It’s real and I have every intention of having her forever, if she’ll have me. But… it’s going to take time to do this gently. I need to safeguard my career as well.”

Rhett nods as though he’s thinking over his next step. I love that he loves me like I’m his to shield, physically and emotionally.

I know I fantasized about this, but I never considered what love had to do with it. I only thought about the beginningand the end. The sex and the family, never the awkward in-between. Never the part where you have to declare your love for multiple men at once. Never the part where you’re sitting on your brother’s best friend’s couch, against his chest, and your therapist is declaring his love, all while you sort of wish the third guy who is broken as fuck would come over so you could do this all at once.

Yeah… I never thought of that.

I swallow hard and stare up at Rhett, still unable to speak.

He holds me against his chest as he looks toward Holden. “You’re the one with the mind degree. Do you really believe this whole harem thing is a good idea? I don’t want her hurt.”

“I don’t want her hurt either. I’ve done some extensive research on polyamory and it’s a mixed bag. Some folks love it in theory, but in practicality, it’s often a trainwreck,” he sighs. “There are instances where it works perfectly, but they’re few and far between. Unfortunately, I don’t see any other alternative. If I didn’t need her as badly as I do, I wouldn’t be here.”

Rhett groans under his breath and twists toward me. I know none of this is easy for him, which puts a spotlight even more prominently on how much he loves me. His actions have always spoken louder than his words. “What are your thoughts, trouble?”

“I’m thinking,” the words come out in a whisper, “I… I’d like that. All of you or both of you. I mean…” I nearly choke trying to swallow down the guilt of wanting them all, but I do. I don’t want Rhett to think he’s not good enough on his own, because he is. So is Maverick. So is Holden. They’re all perfect in their own way and I’m beyond lucky to get an ounce of their affection.

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