Page 52 of Reignite

“Nope.” She shrugged. “I’m taking your advice and am on a break from Domming for a while.”

Another tingle went through my brain. A feeling other than complete misery tried to pry its way through the darkness. “You can do that? I mean, give it up?”

“I’m swearing you to secrecy right here and now.” She took my hand in hers. “While I do have the perfect girl for Cade, that isn’t why I asked you to talk to me today. I’ve got a serious mess on my hands, and you’re the one person I know who would get it.”

I was the one who needed help. Dani had her shit together, nothing bothered her. “Why me?”

She tipped her head to the side and blinked twice before she said, “Because of the kind of relationship you had with Gray.”

Poof.

My mind went dark, and my skin cold.

There was no more coffee shop, no more friend needing advice. The black empty void of my life without that relationship, without Gray, expanded all around me, beckoning.

Everyone avoided talking about him. No one even said his name to me anymore. I hadn’t heard it anywhere but in my dreams, or in my own voice when I woke in the middle of the night calling his name.

I wanted to scream – how dare you say his name, how dare you bring him and all the memories of him bubbling back to the surface? I wanted rail at her, scream, cry, and scream some more.

Warmth seeped into my hand where Dani squeezed it.

The chill receded and I found my voice, even thought it was buried deep in the dark. “What Gray and I had…” I swallowed, “was hard won, very special, and taken away all too soon.”

“I know.” Her reply was matter of fact.

She didn’t really know.

“If you have someone you think you can have that with, take a hold of him hard, and don’t ever let him go, mija.” The goodness, the joy in saying that seeped into my soul. A small chink in the armor holding me together melted away.

“I want to. He doesn’t know about my kinks, and he’s not the sub type. He’s alpha all the way, has been since I met him in college. But you’re a Domme and Gray was dominant too. How did you make that work?”

Gray and I? We both started in fear, showing only a part of ourselves to the world, but both seeing through the other’s façade at some primal level. We’d been so damn close to getting our happily ever after.

That could either break my heart irreparably forever, or I could be grateful for every moment I had with him.

This void in my soul would hurt for a long time, but maybe this was the first step back to life.

“Love,” I finally replied. “Of course, it’s not simple, and it was rarely easy. But we loved each other so hard, we found a way.”

“Oh.” Danica stared at her coffee for a long time. I let her have her moment of thought. The silence was good, because for the first time since that horrific moment I learned Gray was gone, the quiet wasn’t filled with the grip of death and sadness.

Today, a tiny ray of light worked its way back into my heart.

“Thanks, Angelina.” Dani cleared her throat and took a sip of her drink. She made space for both of us to move forward. “You want to hear about Vanessa? Cade is going to go gaga for her.”

“I do.” For real this time.

The mantle of anguish I’d been wearing wasn’t gone. I think I’d always wear it, but sitting here, talking to Dani about Cade, all people who were important in my life, it felt the slightest bit lighter. Like maybe I could go on.

Move on.

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