Page 47 of Ties of Shadow

Yet…I came back inside. I didn’t follow Leon. And, if I was being honest, I didn’t want to return to the castle. No one looked down on me here…well, except for Jamison. But he was a bat, and a bit of a grouch, and who really knew why he grumped at me anyway. The truth was, I wanted to be here.

I wandered through the halls, idly checking for the shadows that surely would be whipping about if he was as angry as the feeling in my chest suggested. When the hallway darkened at the end, near the room of books, I paused. I was more curious than scared, but I didn’t want to fawn anymore when I hadn’t done anything wrong in the first place.

I slipped down another hall, moving with purpose toward another window seat in the castle. He could calm down. And he could find me. I wanted to grow into this budding creature that felt more like me. I wanted to try something new, as nerve-racking as it might be. And certainly, I was not going to take responsibility for his emotions. I had enough of my own to muddle through. As I wandered past the dining room, I swore that my necklace seemed brighter. But then I noticed afew more of the lamps were on, enlightening the whole space. I peered at them. What was he playing at, lighting up the halls?

The Shade did always tell me to do whatever I wanted. So, naturally, I just had to figure out what I truly wanted. So…what did I want? I wanted to help the queen, of course. And to be with…Chef. And to stay. And to…be seen for me.

Sunlight streamed in through the window and filtered to the stone floor. Beyond the pane, a lovely green expanse of flowers stood in contrast to the red rocks around us. Across the garden was the gate, and I couldn’t see any of the rats from earlier.

What an exercise of trust that had been, holding his hand, seeing through his magic. Surely, as connected as we were, I would have felt if he was as evil as the people claimed. At this point, I knew better.

A strong surge of emotion jolted me to awareness a moment before I felt his presence behind me.

“Rehearsing a route back to your prince, Dayspring?”

His voice was low and should have been sharper, but instead, it sounded full of morose acceptance. I slowly turned around. His steps were even and lithe, coiled and graceful. I felt hunted; I ignored the thrill. That couldn’t be healthy.

“He’s notmyprince.” Obviously. I’d already run away from him once.

The Shade huffed. His shadows were only a few feet around him, languidly moving even as his black brows darkened the green of his eyes. “He seems to think so.”

I peered at him, offended until I realized I recognized this feelingof hisin my chest. My lips pulled into a wide, understanding grin. “Are you… Are you jealous?”

He recoiled as if I’d slapped him. “Never.”

I stepped forward again, hunting him this time. “Then why did Prince Leon get under your skin?”

“He didn’t.”

A step closer. “Then why did you huff off?”

“Death does not huff.”

“Why did you storm inside?” I stood before him now, the shadows shifting my tunic as I turned my face toward his. My boldness surprised me. But I was done being walked on, done being prey, done with the past. Done with fawning. I knew in the core of my being that even though the Shade was angry—perhaps with Leon—his anger was not a threat to me or my person. His hands were still, his anger self-contained, even as I felt it boiling within him, and his words kept under control.

I reached a hand slowly to his cravat, moving the silk under my fingertips and straightening the end. He swallowed, and I glanced back up at his face. Tortured. Aching… Wanting?

“Shade?”

“I don’t want him to take you.” His voice was barely a whisper. “He had over a decade with you, and then he tried to sacrifice you. He doesn’t deserve you.” He hesitated as if considering his words. “He made his choice.”

“But?”

“But you are not a possession, Aelia.” His jaw locked as he gritted out the rest. “You have the freedom to choose, and I will not restrict that freedom. You may use your own discernment, a rare and precious thing. If you want to go, you may. You had a life there.”

My chest flooded with pleasure and relief. The contrast between the men in my life had never been more obvious. This man was nothing like I’d expected him to be. But I still couldn’t reconcile the man I’dmet in the ballroom with the one standing before me. “Shade, why did you kill those guards?”

His face darkened further, and his irises flooded with black. “They broke in. They slaughtered the wolf cubs. The mother barely made it out alive despite killing one of the guards. Only one cub survived—her mother was the gray one that came with us today.” And the cub was the one that had run out after Leon left. My heart ached. He took a deep breath. “They went after the other creatures, set the rooms on fire to smoke out everyone. They would have killed them all, destroyed the plants… And worse yet, Uncle Koll was in the upstairs kitchen baking. They blocked the door. He barely made it out alive.”

Horrified, my own anger flamed. I would have killed them myself.

I wasn’t confident if I thought it or said the words aloud, but the Shade peered suspiciously. “Oh, really? You would have?”

I nodded, though I choked as I imagined nearing that last brutal step. “That’s awful.”

“It was awful.” His hand trailed down my shoulder, to my elbow, and pulled my hand into his. “You may think me a monster, Dayspring, but I only ever defend what is mine.” His eyes flashed at that last word.

“I don’t think you’re a monster, Shade.”

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