Page 182 of Hate Mates

I spend close to a minute wondering if I could do this, trust her and move forward, and in that time, I think every emotion and fear she feels flashes on her pretty face.

I take a breath. I can do this…slowly, and I want to.

“A cuddle is fine, but I can’t sleep with you yet. I’ll need to take things slow, but you don’t have to go back to him. Choose to leave.”

“You chose for me. I’m not mad about it, and I didn’t mean physical stuff because I’m still no better at it.” She smiles, trying to lighten the mood. “I haven’t done anything since us.”

“Yeah, me either. Obviously. I think there’s a few emotional scars that need to heal before all that, too.”

“You’ve had some physical ones, too. I saw your wrist.”

“That won’t happen again. I did it when the fear of prison first hit, but obviously, I didn’t succeed, and I haven’t done it since.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“Seeing my brother and what he’s going through, I wouldn’t do it again. Life is a blessing. Some people are desperate to live. On the dark days, I’ll live for him.”

The sound of something pulling up in front of us lifts the mood. We squint in harmony, and without my glasses, I barely make out the big red tow truck beyond the snow.

“Oh, my god! Help is here.”

Staying put because it’s too damn cold to get out, we wait for the guy to approach, but he’s still in his truck.

“Do you think people will talk?” Lourdez asks. “What if they make up rumors? You could get slandered all over again. And again, because of me.”

“The important people know the truth. And no one is saying we have to stay in that town forever.”

“You’re gonna move away and take your roommate?”

“Maybe you’ll grow on me enough that you won’t be a roommate by then. Who knows.”

“Who knows.” Her face angles to mine, placing a gentle kiss on my jaw. I don’t comment or try to kiss her back, but my hand holds her impossibly closer.

And it feels good.

And it feels amazing that we’ll get to the hospital in time.

TEN

What Happens Next

LOCHLAN

The guy at the auto shop couldn’t fix the car then and there. There was apparently an issue with the fuel lines. Instead, he gave us a ride to the hospital. On the journey there, my dad called.

We were too late.

My brother had gone seconds after he’d been given more pain relief—minutes after the phone call with Lourdez and me ended. My heart shattered in front of a stranger, and I needed someone more than ever. Lourdez was there, her hands collecting all my broken pieces. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t picked her up. If I’d left her on the side of the road. But I know I’d have felt worse with no one by my side.

And we wouldn’t be where we are now, traveling around Europe with nothing more than two backpacks.

Picking her up, I did that for Colten.

I kept her for me because it was my turn to be selfish for a while.

Without him bringing us together, I’d have headed home alone with my grief and probably faded away there.

Life can be cruel and far too short.

Don’t let the past stop you from having a future.

The people who don’t get to stay here as long as the rest of us wouldn’t want that and they live on in other ways with us.

I’d like to think my brother is with us on these travels at least ninety percent of the time…you know, because those emotional scars have healed now. But whether here or somewhere else. The ghost who’ll stalk the halls of his ex’s house, slapping her ass with an invisible hand, or the voice in my head that says, I always thought you’d be cute together.

He’s still here with the people who love him most.

And that brings a smile to my face as we snap our hundredth photo together in front of the most beautiful waterfall.

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