Page 79 of Break

“Impossible.”

“I was an animal.”

“Not hardly. She fucking loved it. Nicole likes it rough, Kerr.”

Kerrington scrubs his face. “She’s not going to be able to sit for a week with how much I spanked her.”

The pain in his voice tears my heart in half.

“She has a safe word and knows how to use it.”

“As her Dom, I should have stopped at a certain point.”

“No, as her Dom, you should have read her like you did, listen to her cues, and act accordingly, which is exactly what you did.” I grip his shoulder and squeeze until he looks at me. “She’s a big girl. She loved it. Maybe she likes it rougher than you. Ever think of that?”

“That’s my biggest concern,” he says carefully. “How much more could I have done?”

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

Kerrington steps away from me, shaking his head. “I’m not going to unleash that part of me ever again, Landon. Not after…”

My heart sinks. He’s referring to the time he went all in with me, and I couldn’t take it. I safe worded out and needed three full days to recover before I let him touch me again. It’s not that he did anything wrong, because I loved it all. But the intensity was too much. Kerrington likes to push boundaries, specifically his own, and he doesn’t trust himself to not lose control completely.

I’ve told him time and time again that the responsibility isn’t solely on his shoulders. His partner or partners have control over this, too. I safe worded. We discussed what worked and what didn’t. What we both loved and didn’t like. Then we adjusted accordingly. But he never went full throttle on me again.

It’s left a strange black mark on my heart because I want to give him everything he needs. But that’s not always possible and I’ve had to come to terms with it. Besides, he can’t give me everything I need either, so in that regard, we’re even.

It can’t be a coincidence that Nicole fills our voids. She’s able to take Kerrington’s intensity, and she also fills the sub role for me, which Kerrington could never.

“Can you fix it?” He asks, breaking our silence.

“No.” We both stare at the busted cell phone, feeling inadequate for being tech tycoons. It’s not every day I come across a device or program I can’t get into. If it had just busted, that would be easy. But oh no, several cars ran it over before I found it in the middle of the street, crushed. I might be able to recover something useful if I had all my tools with me, but I don’t. “We’re just going to have to let her tell us whenever she’s ready.”

Kerrington makes it obvious he doesn’t like that answer, but what other choice do we have? He tried to fuck it out of her, and that didn’t work. We tried being polite and just asking. That didn’t work. Patience is all we have left.

“Do you think it’s a new fiancé?” he asks.

My gut twists. I hadn’t thought of that. “I fucking hope not. Committing murder was not on my bingo card for this month.”

Kerrington huffs a laugh and drops onto the couch next to me. I rest my head on his shoulder. “You did great tonight with her. I loved seeing the two of you be like that together.”

He tenses next to me. “You weren’t scared or repulsed?”

“Not even possible.”

“I hurt her,” he whispers.

“You fucked her.” Squeezing his thigh, I hope it’s reassuring. “And it was beautiful.”

“She really did sound like she enjoyed it.”

“She squirted like a goddamn geyser twice.Women are so amazing.”

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Nicole is a goddess.”

“And she’s all ours, man. How’d we get so lucky?”

Silence blankets us again and Kerrington’s breathing slows down as he drifts off to sleep. I close my eyes and fall under too.

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