Page 87 of Wild Desire

"I'll be sure to do that." I didn't need anything except to stay so busy I'd fall into bed and pass out every night. Work and sleep. Those were the only two things I was focused on.

I ran through the list of tasks for the room requests this morning. They ran the gamut from toiletries to clothes to ski gear. I fulfilled them all, using the key card to leave the items in each room for the guests when they returned. I marked the task completed in the app and sent the request for feedback.

I'd follow up with a new item if there was an issue. I was eager to please and had all the time in the world to make this business a success.

Killian wanted to be the fastest on the slopes, and I wanted to be the best service provider in the area. The assistant pay I'd received for working for Killian would be gone now, and I needed more income from the resort-assistant service. I didn't feel comfortable hiring anyone yet. What if the work dried up? I didn't want the pressure of paying someone else. I'd end up foregoing my own salary to make sure someone else was paid. I wasn't ready to hire anyone yet. No matter what I'd said to Killian.

I didn't need any downtime. Keep busy was my motto. I worked on marketing ideas for my businesses, wishing I had more event bookings, but they'd died off. It was probably because my attention was on Killian and other business.

It wasn't easy running so many different ventures. But it was the perfect thing for me to turn my attention to. I wouldn't listen to any radio interviews or read articles on people's opinions of Killian's comeback. I couldn't look at his glossy pictures or think about the parties he was attending.

He'd do his thing, and I'd do mine.

Right before I fell into bed each night, I looked for a text from him, and like always, I was disappointed. I had to remember he was busy, and so was I. We hadn't promised we'd keep in touch or maintain any sort of relationship. So I had no reason to be upset.

There hadn't been any declaration of feelings. He might not feel the same way I did. It was likely that he didn't.

But on the eve of his first race, I sent one text.

Noelle: Good luck.

He didn't respond until right before the race.

Killian: Thanks.

But I was picking up several orders in town for the lodge guests and didn't have time to tune into the race itself. By the time I got back to the lodge that night, the coverage of the race was on all the bar TVs. I sucked in a breath when I realized he'd won.

He'd won his first race back. I was thrilled for him. Elated.

Noelle: I knew you could do it.

I didn't wait for a response because I didn't expect one. There were probably afterparties tonight and celebrations. Then he'd feel more pressure than ever to continue racing at a high level. He'd forget about me and everything here. It was just as it was supposed to be.

22

KILLIAN

I'd won the race, but the thrill of victory was missing. Ever since I got off the plane, I'd been nonstop. There were interviews, training, and planning. The to-do list had been endless, and I was exhausted.

I was at an afterparty where there was loud music, dancing, and lots of women. There were men too, but I couldn't help but feel like I shouldn't be there.

I wasn't interested in the adulation, not in the same way I had been before my injury.

I searched the crowd for Jeremy, who was drinking at the bar, and said, "I'm going back to my room."

His brow furrowed. "You should stay. There are sponsors here."

I glanced around the room. "I've talked to everyone I need to, and honestly, they can set up a meeting if they're interested."

Jeremy straightened, moving slightly away from the woman he'd been talking to. "You know that's not how it works. You have to put yourself in front of them."

I'd seen other athletes do things differently over the years. I was starting to wonder if his approach was the best. "I'm just getting back in the game. I'm tired."

He finally nodded. "You're right. Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Except I wasn't sure I would. My time was scheduled from when I woke up until I went to sleep at night. It was early morning trainings, interviews, publicity, and meetings. Then more networking events in the evening. I just wanted to snowboard, and if I was being honest with myself, check in with Noelle. I missed her. I missed our routines. The quiet calm whenever she was in our condo.

In the elevator, I stepped inside, nodding to one of my competitor's, Derek. He was large with shaggy blond hair. He had an easy way about him, but I rarely saw him at the after-parties.

---