Page 121 of Reckless
I suppose my lack of endurance shouldn’t be shocking after being holed up in my study for so long. But I’m panting by the time I reach the worn door at the top of the stairs.
My fist lifts, readying to rap my knuckles against the wood.
I hesitate.
There is a reason I have yet to visit the queen. She is my mother in name alone, and I suppose part of me always despised her for not being the woman who died giving birth to me. For not being the woman I so desperately wish I could have met.
But Father loved her greatly, and she him. It is the reason she is so ill in the first place—grief. At least we have those two things in common.
Until I find the courage to face father’s grave, I will sit beside his wife’s deathbed.
I knock. The door swings open.
I’m met with shocked looks from several physicians. They don’t bother asking why I’m here. Only one patient occupies this tower.
Within a matter of seconds, I’m being ushered across the room, passing crisp beds blanketed with dust.
No one has been up here in years.
Even when Kai and I tore each other up in the sparring ring, the injuries were hastily fixed by Eli in our bedrooms. Because this wing of the castle is reserved for the wounds that run far deeper than a Healer can reach.
My eyes trace a particular cot tucked into the corner; its linens folded neatly. I distantly wonder whether Kai has seen that bed without Ava’s body to occupy it.
“Kitt!”
Tearing my eyes from the cot, I find brown ones warm at the sight of me. “Jax,” I say, forcing a smile. “I didn’t know you were up here.”
The grin he returns is far brighter than my own, contrasting against his dark skin. “I didn’t think I would see you here. Or, uh, anywhere.”
I watch the sadness settle onto his features and am desperate toeradicate it. “Sorry about that, J. I’ve been a lot busier than usual.”
He nods, shifting on his gangly limbs. “Yeah, I bet.” Then he throws a glance at the occupied bed behind him. “She’s been asking about you.”
I clear my throat. “Do you come up here often?”
He nods, looking sheepish. “Almost every day. I… I owe it to her. She’s the one who took me in after my parents…”
I nod when he trails off, not needing him to remind me of his parents’ shipwreck on the Shallows. I’m suddenly clearing my throat again, feeling slightly awkward. Something has shifted between us, and it’s left me oddly off-balance.
I suppose that would be my fault. I’m the only one of us who’s changed. The only one who is now king.
“Well,” Jax says slowly, “I guess I’ll leave you to it.”
My hand finds his shoulder when he begins to step away. “Plagues, have you grown an inch every day since I last saw you?”
The joking tone of my voice, the glimpse of the prince he grew up with, has a smile splitting across his face. “Pretty soon I’ll be looking down on you, Kitty.”
“Oh, I hope not,” I say pointedly. “Because then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” I reach forward, hooking an arm around his neck before ruffling his short hair with my free hand.
He laughs in that boyish way I’ve missed. Carefree and wholesome. After finally untangling himself from my arms, he stands before me, beaming. The sight has my chest constricting at the reminder of what things used to be like.
But maybe there is still hope of happiness in the future.
After managing to scruff up my hair, Jax takes several long strides and slips out of the room with a laugh. Shaking my head and smoothing the blond strands atop it, I turn my focus toward the woman already watching me.
Her once sleek, black hair looks dull sprawled atop the white pillow. When I make my way to the edge of her bed, she attempts a weak smile. “Hello, Kitt.”
The voice that escapes her cracked lips is little more than a rasp. Gray eyes roam over me, looking so much like Kai’s. She clears her throat, sounding stronger as she says, “I’ve heard that you haven’t been doing too well recently.”
