Page 109 of Reckless
“No, I mean, hekepta journal.” I look up, eyes wide. “His own thoughts and feelings. A log of his life.”
“A diary,” Kai says quietly.
I nod, looking down at the book in my lap. “The first entry is dated more than ten years before my birth,” I say. The words are smudged and rushed, as though he thought it was wasted time to write of his own life. I look up to find Kai’s gaze pinned on me. His nod of encouragement has me clearing my throat and reading the scribbled script.
“I suppose I’ll just write about this, since it’s treason to speak it to anyone else. The king offered me a job again. Well, more like threatened me with it. I was summoned to the palace to help his Healers during fever season, but I know his true intentions. He wants me out of the slums and into the upper city with the rest of the Healers. He doesn’t want anyone tending to the poor or less powerful, for that matter. I wouldn’t be surprised if he began another Purging, this time for the Mundanes. He thinks them to be weak like the Ordinaries, treating the slums like the scum beneath the shiny shoe that is his Elite kingdom.
“There is a reason no other Healer can be found anywhere near the slums. Greed is a plague that Ilya has yet to eradicate. But when the king offers each Healer more money than they could ever spend in their lifetime, they happily agree to whatever strings are attached. The conditions are simple enough—only care for the upper class and promote the idea that Ordinaries are weakening our powers through prolonged proximity due to the undetectable disease they carry.
“He is paying them off. What an expensive lie. Because no one will question what the Healers say they detect. For decades,the king has been buying the support of the only people who know this disease to be a lie. And it has worked beautifully. It’s not as though Healers care for Ordinaries. They may know that the ‘undetectable disease’ is a farce, but they also know that Ordinaries and Elites reproducing will dwindle our power and eventually cause our kind to go extinct. That alone is enough for their greed to promote the king’s lie and ensure that Elites never allow Ordinaries back in Ilya.
“It’s bullshit, but brilliant.
“And I’m the problem. The exception with a target on my back. The king is persuasive—I’ll give him that. His bribes are very tempting to a resident of the slums, but I can’t abandon the lower class, not when no one else will help with the sickness that spreads through the streets like wildfire.
“So the slums are where I will stay. The king will not buy my support.”
I blink at the familiar writing, hearing his voice with each word I read. My eyes skim over the page again. And again. And—
“Did you hear that?” I blurt, looking up at Kai.
He’s crouching in front of the fire, hands draped over his knees. He stares blankly at the flickering flame, nodding slightly. “I heard it.”
“Do you know what this means?” A crazed smile tugs at my lips. “This is proof, Kai. This is proof that there is no disease detected by the Healers. And the king—”
“The king has been bribing them to lie about it,” he finishes quietly. His gaze hasn’t strayed from the dim fire. “That is, if any of this is even true.”
“My father was no liar,” I snap, harsher then intended. I blow out a breath before calmly continuing. “Don’t you see? It all adds up.Your father had all the Healers under his control, somewhere he could watch them closely. And he wanted the slums to suffer because even some Elites are too weak for his liking.”
I hear him take a shaky breath. “No. No, that can’t be right.” He drags his fingers through damp hair. “I can’t let that be right because I’ve justified everything. Everything I’ve done as the Enforcer. It was all to protect the Elites and Ilya from thisdisease, but if Ordinaries aren’t weakening our powers…”
He trails off, running a hand over his face. I reach a hesitant hand toward him, unsure what to say. “Kai…”
“That would mean that he’s been killing Ordinaries to prevent them from reproducing with Elites. He’s been killing healthy, innocent people.” He finally looks over at me, gray eyes icy. “I’vebeen killing healthy, innocent people.”
“You didn’t know,” I murmur. “How could you have? The king had every Healer spewing his lie.”
I turn away, shocked at the sincerity seeping into my words. I never thought I would sympathize with the crimes he’s committed against Ordinaries like me, but his head is in his hands, his hurt hidden behind the crumbling mask he wears.
Remorse is written all over his face. Anger is sketched into the stiffening of his shoulders, the storm raging in his eyes.
He’s spent his whole life living a lie that helped him live with himself.
He shakes his head, his shadow doing the same on the wall behind him. “It can’t be true.” He won’t look at me. “Are there any more entries? Anything else about this?”
I flip the page, finding more words sprawled there. “This one’s dated a few weeks later. Here, look at this.” I scoot closer to the fire, flooding the page with light and making it easier for us to read.
I had an idea while I was working in the palace today. A terrible, treasonous idea that shouldn’t be written down. But I know there are Ordinaries hiding in Ilya who need help surviving. Probably Fatals too. And maybe it’s naive to hope that there are Elites out there who believe killing Ordinaries to be wrong.
I want to find those few. I want to build a community, something the king can’t ignore. I want to fight with the Ordinaries—for the Ordinaries and those alike.
I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to try.
I stare at the smudged page. “He’s talking about the Resistance.” I smile slightly. “No wonder he hid this journal beneath a floorboard. It’s incriminating.”
Kai nods as I flip the page so we can read the entry that follows.
I’ve been searching the abandoned buildings in the slums and have found a couple of Ordinaries willing to trust me. I invited them into my home and told them of my plans to fight for their right to live in Ilya.
