Page 65 of The Saint

“Really?” He didn’t return to his food, and the conversation became far more serious than I’d expected it to be. “Because it looks like you got everythingyouwant…”

I didn’t let my anger rise, not when we were in a crowded room, not when I knew he always meant well, even when we butted heads. “I told her we can do the kid thing. I’m not the asshole, and I don’t appreciate being treated like one.”

“I’m just surprised, man.”

“Why? I told her I would protect her and whatever children she wants to have. Not my fault she doesn’t have any faith in that.”

“Your dad always protected you, didn’t he? But growing up in that situation fucked you up bad.”

“I would never involve my kids in this life.” I’d never put a gun in their hands and order them to shoot an innocent girl. I would never tell them they were unwanted, even if that was how I really felt.

He was quiet for a while, looking down at his food but not eating it. “You’ve loved this woman since the moment you saw her. I know she took off in the beginning because she was scared, butthis woman fuckingdrowned, and she stayed. Now you tell her you won’t give her a family in a safe environment, and shestillstays. The loyalty she has shown you is unbelievable. She’s got balls, man, and I’m just surprised that after all that, you could do this to her.”

I’d felt no guilt for my decision, but Luca completely changed that perception.

“How can you love this woman as much as you do and refuse to give this to her?”

“I think you’re just trying to take my job.”

He immediately smirked at the taunt. “If I want your job, I’d just shank you, asshole.”

I’d made a joke to dispel the tension, but the second I waved away the smoke, it wafted back in.

He turned serious again. “It’s not like this is happening now. You’ve got at least five years, Bastien. I don’t want kids, never have and never will, but if I loved a woman like you do, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she’s been one hell of a woman.”

My food remained untouched and turned cold, and the rest of my body followed suit, like I was in the process of rigor mortis. It was hard to imagine a boring life of diaper changes and spit-up all over my clothes, especially when I didn’t have the adrenaline at night, when I didn’t thrive in the shadows after they went to bed. Adrien had been a big fucking disappointment for her, said he loved her and never proved it, never gave her the love and respect she deserved.

I didn’t want to do the same.

When I came home, she was happy to see me, as if that horrible fight had never happened. She’d already gotten ready for the day like she intended to go out after I went to bed. Her hair and makeup were done, but she wore one of my long-sleeved shirts like a baggy dress.

She rose on her tiptoes to kiss me, her arms unable to wrap around my neck so she grabbed on to my shoulders instead.

I slipped my hands underneath her dress, and I took hold of that fine ass. I was dead tired when I walked in the door, but the second she was in my grasp, I was wide awake. I gripped her thighs then lifted her up into me, her legs automatically wrapping around my waist.

Now, her arms could circle my neck, and she kissed me like she’d been thinking about me all morning. “I missed you.”

Her neediness turned me on—that was how much I loved her. No amount of clinginess could deter my obsession with her. Sometimes, less was more, but other times, more was more. When a woman grabbed my hand, that was all it took for the night to come to a screeching halt. But there was nothing Fleur could do to make me feel that way. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” I carried her to the bed and dropped her on the edge before I took hold of her panties underneath her shirt and tugged them down. I pushed the shirt above her tits and dropped my bottoms before I grabbed her hips and lifted her into place to take my dick.

I slid through her slickness that drenched my dick, and I already wanted to come. “Fuck, you really did miss me.”

When I woke up, she was on the couch reading, in a different one of my shirts. As far as I could tell, she didn’t have any loungewear because she’d never worn it in front of me. She preferred my clothes, and that was just fine with me.

I showered then joined her on the couch.

She immediately closed her book and left it on the coffee table before she crawled to me and got on my lap, the excitement in her eyes like a torch she carried just for me. “How was work?”

My hands went to her thighs. I could feel the change in her legs, the muscles she’d built just from running on the treadmill every day. Her waist was a little tighter, and I could feel her abs against my thumbs whenever I squeezed her. Her ass was tighter too—and I definitely liked that. “Same shit.” I didn’t know how to answer such a routine question, not when I was a criminal rather than a guy working in an office. “How was your day?”

“I had a blueberry muffin that was to die for, so it was pretty great.” She was all over me again, her hands on my chest, her ass right in my lap, obsessed with me like I’d been with her since the moment I saw her.

I had no doubt that she was really past our fight, that she felt no resentment toward me for what she had to sacrifice. I could just let it go, let myself have what I want and let her take the hit.

But now, I felt so much guilt. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“About what?” she asked, her eyes narrowed like she really had no idea what I referred to.

“If you want to have kids, I’ll leave.”

---