I don’t wait for her to invite me in.
“And maybe try being patient for once?” she asks as I brush past her, carrying a box of tools and equipment. I dump it on the floor and frown around at the space. Blind spots, shadows, corners, and turns. I’ve got to cover it all.
“And what the heck is all that stuff?”
“Cameras,” I say, squinting at the back left corner. That’s probably the best angle for the living room. I’ll need another for the hall, another for her bedroom, and one for the bathroom?—
“Sorry, hold on, stop whatever you think is happening here.” She yanks the security box away and glares savagely at me. “Do you think you’re installing surveillance equipment in my room?”
“I don’t like that I can’t see you when I’m not here.” I give her a hard look. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”
She laughs like I’ve lost my mind, but I feel clear and sane at the moment.
This is the only reasonable solution. If I can log into my system and see that she’s perfectly okay, it’ll make my life a lot easier.
Sure, it’s an invasion of her privacy, but that’s overrated anyway.
“You’re absolutely crazy,” she says, shaking her head.
I grab the box back and start gathering my tools. “It won’t take long.”
“Tigran! No way!” She wrestles a wrench from my hand.
I snarl at her. “Stop being difficult.”
She barks right back. “This ismyspace, asshole. You don’t get to charge in here and start making wild demands like this. You have to talk to me first.”
My jaw twitches, and I say nothing. That’s kind of a fair reaction. She’s right—I should have brought the whole cameras thing up earlier or at least given her a warning that this was going to happen.
From her perspective, I can see why she might feel a little blindsided.
But this is a solution to my problem.
My fucking Dasha problem.
“I need to know you’re okay all day, every day,” I say, my voice sounding hoarse for some reason. “It’s been fucking killing me.”
“This isn’t going to happen,” she says, nudging the box away with her foot. “Would you just talk to me first? You can’t just start screwing cameras into my walls.”
I grunt and start to pace. She doesn’t understand how precarious things are. The McGraths already planted one car bomb. Who’s to say they couldn’t get close to her again? My security is good, but nothing’s perfect.
I can’t risk it, not with Ciaran and Oisin still lurking around out there.
“Your safety is everything,” I say at last, forcing myself to articulate at least one small portion of the raging storm in my chest. I can’t tell her everything, or else it’ll scare the fuck out of her. Even Dasha would run screaming if she knew how pathetic I’ve become for her.
She’s on my mind constantly. Every day, all day long. The moment I wake up, I’m searching for her. If I didn’t fall asleep in her bed after a long night of fucking, I feel somehow empty and alone.
It’s not fucking right, this bizarre hold she has over me, and I need to do something about it.
“I appreciate what you’re saying, I really do, but come on. I can’t have spy cameras in my freaking living room.”
“Then how am I supposed to know you’re okay? How am I supposed to see you when I’m not here?” My hands turn to fists. My body tenses with frustration. “I have to be out there hunting down our enemies, even though all I want is to be in here with you.”
She comes to me and brushes her hands down my arms. “That’s oddly sweet. Maybe a little psycho stalker, but sweet.”
“If you wanted a normal man, you should’ve married someone else.”
“I didn’t have much of a choice, remember? I was never going to marry normal anyway. At least I got stuck with you.” She smiles slightly, gets on her toes, and kisses me.