Page 55 of Revenge & Ruin

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt so much if it wasn’t the early hours of the morning. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so horrendously alone if the last man I had slept with hadn’t just put a gun to my head and threatened to pull the trigger.

But that familiar ache blossoms in my chest regardless. That all-encompassing sense of dread threatens to consume my entire future, walking with me through every unlovable moment, and laughing at me through every rejection.

Tears prickle in the corner of my eyes, so I throw my phone away from me. Desperate for the feeling to pass, I lie flat on my back and stare at the ceiling.

What was it my mother always said?“Love is a weakness that is meant to be exploited.”

I should be grateful that I never have to worry about anyone beyond my family. It’s the way it’s supposed to be.

But I can’t shake the feeling that this bed would feel so much more comfortable if there was someone lying next to me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. It’s almost too easy to imagine: the gentle slide of the balcony door that lets in a cool breeze, the sound of footsteps creeping along my bedroom floor, the weight on the mattress that would compress the springs as he slid in next to me.

“Belle,”he would whisper in my ear.

A steady hand would hold my head just so, positioning my mouth mere inches from his.

My hand drops down, pulling my underwear out of the way so that I can draw lazy circles around my clit.

Maybe he’d bring a knife with him. Maybe he would punctuate his sordid kisses with a little nick on my arm or my chest. Maybe a mark right over the bruise he placed on my heart.

He would tip my head to the side and drag his tongue up the length of my neck across the scab that he had left there. Then, he would kiss it hungrily as if he could remove the evidence.

My fingers dip further down, revealing my sodden core.

Mmm…I could fuck myself to the memory of those endless midnight eyes burning across my skin. Better yet, that animalistic rage as he slammed into me over the bathroom sink.

Or maybe in the closet at the casino, a few short hours ago.

Completely and utterly intoxicating.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP

My alarm jolts me up into a sitting position, shame coloring my cheeks as I try to wipe away the evidence of my treacherous thoughts.

I’m so unbelievably screwed.

15

TEO

The fallout from attacking the cartel is inconvenient, to say the least.

With the cops watching my every move now, there’s only so much I can do until our contacts higher up can sweep the whole thing under the rug.

In short, I’m having to lie low.

Which means I can’t be seen within a hundred meters of Isabella Natali. Firstly, because that woman has a habit of making me do the stupidest things.

Secondly, because I’m not sure what I’ll do if I see her again: kill her for causing this mess, or kidnap her for real.

Either way, it’s a very bad idea when there are unmarked police cars parked on my street every day.

As I pass them today, I give the hood of the closest car a brief knock and wink at the startled expressions of the police inside.

It’s been a week since the incident, and things have felt suspiciously quiet. That was, until this morning.

“Car’s been parked outside the airport all morning,” Martino relays to me..

---