Page 105 of Sin & Secrets

“Tell me.”

She sighs. “On occasion, I’ve been known to help my father collect his debts.”

To my jaw-dropping surprise, she pulls out a knife that was somehow concealed within her jeans and begins to twirl it around her fingers with expert precision.

I watch as the tiny blade catches the light every few seconds, utterly transfixed.

“I’m not entirely proud of it, but I am good at what I do. Good enough that people tend to leave me alone, at least,” she admits, “I try not to get involved with Guild politics, anyhow.”

A familiar numbness begins to grip my heart once more. “But you knew what really happened to my father, didn’t you?”

Sadness immediately slumps Mia’s shoulders. “Teo and Martino were there that night, too. They said that…Rocco…he did everything he could to get Carmine to stop.”

I blink at her in confusion. “Claudio said…hekilled him.”

“I’m sure Rocco feels that way too,” Mia sighs. “But your father’s suicide wasn’t his fault.”

Her words hover between us, but I refuse to let them sink in. “No.”

But Mia persists anyway. “They’d discovered your father was selling information to the Cartel and was trying to make a run for it. Rocco was only bringing him in for questioning because there was no way in hell Carmine was working alone.”

“I’m done with this.”

“Cas, Carmine took his own life instead of giving up his co-conspirator. Rocco offered him a peaceful way out.”

I stand up. “Can I take a shower?” The words come out harsher than I intended, but finally, Mia seems to drop it.

“I’ll make us some dinner. Lasagne good for you?”

I nod, trying to focus on anything other than the ringing in my ears. As soon as the bathroom door closes behind me, I strip down and all but run into the shower, allowing the scorching water to burn on my skin as I regain control of my breathing.

It’s complicated. All so fucking complicated. Because my father is dead. Andhemight not have pulled the trigger, but that didn’t stophimfrom being the reason my father is now dead.

I let the numbness take over my body once more, relishing the escape from the turmoil of my emotions. I’m soothed by the scorching water that washes away the sins of the night before.

My mind only snags on one tiny thing.

I killed a man. And I still can’t bring myself to care.

I shudder when I turn off the shower and step back into the real world. Wrapping a towel around myself, I head back into the apartment to see if Mia has any spare clothes I can borrow.

“Hey, Mia?” I say as I open the door.

The smell of freshly baked lasagne hits me like a ton of bricks.

“Cas?”

Nausea rises within me so fast that I stagger back into the bathroom, searching desperately for the toilet bowl.

I make it just in time.

Mia is there a second later, pulling back my hair with dutiful care as I heave whatever was left in my stomach into the toilet bowl.

“Fuck,” I gasp as I finally rest my head against the porcelain. “I must have a virus or something.”

I’m too exhausted to notice how still Mia has become. “Why?”

“I threw up in that trunk earlier, too.”

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