Page 41 of (Un)Rivaled

“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted. Gray released me, turning me around so I faced him. I dropped my eyes to the floor, unsure I’d be able to get the words out if he kept looking at me like that. “There’s this…pull between us, and it scares the hell out of me.”

“Why?”

I dared to glance up at him. “Because I don’t know what we’re doing, Gray. Every time we’ve gotten closer, I…”

“You’ve gotten hurt,” Gray said. His hands left my waist, instead grabbing the counter behind me. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Devyn,” he whispered, reaching to brush my hair back from my face. I hadn’t even noticed it had fallen out, too distracted by my husband. “And all the ones that haunt me the most? They all revolve around you.”

My lip trembled as I looked up at him, trying to hold on to this moment of rare vulnerability. What would it be liketo let this resentment go? To let go of the past and let Grayson back in? But as much as I wanted to, I didn’t trust him, not with my heart. It might have been a battered, tired little thing, but it still beat in my chest. I couldn’t risk any more damage at Gray’s hands.

His thumb swiped along my cheek, brushing away a tear I hadn’t noticed. “I’ve missed you, Devyn, more than I ever thought possible. But if you’re not there yet, or if you don’t think you can forgive me, I understand. You want me to sign the divorce papers? I’ll do it. You want me to get out of your life and never see me again? Done. If that’s what it’ll take for you to be happy, just say the word, and I’ll make it happen.” He lowered his face, bringing both hands to my neck. “But if there’s even a chance for more, I’m going to try. We’ve never given this a real shot, and I’ll be damned if I let you go without a fight.”

Was that what I wanted? If you asked me a couple of days ago, the answer would have been a resounding no, slamming the door on any possibility of Gray and me. But so much had shifted in my life lately, and this was the one place I felt safe. Despite our past, Gray was still here, still looking at me like I was the same wide-eyed girl who had fallen for him years ago.

And while I wasn’t completely ready to let go of our past, I was so tired of holding it all in, so tired of secrets and guarding the fractured remnants of my heart. What would it feel like to just ride through these emotions with Gray?

He must have seen the conflict in my expression, because Gray sighed and took a step back. It was already too cold without him close. He grabbed his coat, turning back toward me. “I’m going to give you some space to sort things out. You know where to find me when you figure out whatyou want.”

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. I instinctively leaned into him, my fingers brushing against his chest. Gray squeezed my hand once, and then he was gone, calling for Elsa as he walked out the front door.

As soon as the door closed, I dropped my head to the counter and growled in frustration. How the hell had I gotten myself into this mess? For years, I was so angry with Gray, hating how we’d come together just to be ripped apart all over again. But from the moment I stepped back into this town, Gray had been lowering my defenses, making me remember why I’d fallen for him.

But I wasn’t a naïve teenager anymore. I wouldn't let past feelings, no matter how strong, blindly lead me. Because yes, it had been hard to live my life without Gray in it, but I’d survived. And honestly, if we got close and I lost him all over again…I didn’t know if that would still be the case.

I was still standing in the same spot, worrying about all the outcomes, when Gray stormed back inside, snow covering his hair and jacket.

“Shit.” He shook his head as he looked at me. “There’s easily two feet of snow out there. I’ll be out of here as soon as I dig my truck out, but it might take a bit.”

My eyes widened as I looked out the door behind him. The snow was up around Gray’s truck tires, and even with its height, there was no way I’d want him traveling down dark, windy roads in this weather.

“You should stay,” I said, not even sure where the words came from.

Gray paused, watching me like he was waiting for me to take the words back. He swallowed heavily as he came a little closer. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “You have a bedroom here. I’d rather you stayand know you’re safe.” I glanced out the window, noticing the heavy snow falling behind him. “You shouldn’t be driving in this weather.”

Gray’s eyes flickered with understanding. My dad died in a car accident while driving late at night on roads like these. All it took was one slick spot, and his car had veered off the road, colliding with a tree. He never stood a chance.

It had taken a long time to conquer my fear of driving. I still wasn’t completely comfortable behind the wheel, especially in bad weather. That was fine in the city, but up here? I’d probably have to figure out something eventually. Either that, or I’d be house bound from October to March.

Gray’s eyes met mine, and he nodded. “Okay, Ace. I’ll stay.”

TWENTY-ONE

Two days.

It had been snowing for two fucking days, and there was no sign of it stopping. I cursed as I dug into the mound on the front step, determined to clear at least that much. But the rest of the driveway was going to have to wait. There was too much, and it was accumulating too quickly to make a difference. Whose bright idea was it to buy a house in the middle of nowhere? Oh, right.Mine. Initially, its isolation from the rest of the world was a selling feature. Now? Not so much.

With no one else around to help dig us out, Devyn and I were stuck here for the foreseeable future. Knowing how the town operated during a blizzard, the main roads would be the focus in case of any emergencies. The plow trucks would eventually make it up here, but it wouldn’t be a priority until it stopped snowing so heavily.

The silver lining was that my phone service had returned, so I could check in with my parents. Alex and Cole were taking turns staying with them while the other tried to take care of things at the Lodge. From what Colehad told me, everything was going smoothly, and my dad was in good spirits. Small blessings, I supposed.

With my parents taken care of, I had plenty of time to focus on my other issue: Devyn. I shook my head, staring out at the miles of white. Ever since she’d asked me to stay, she’d been avoiding me, acting as if our moment the other night had never happened. I should have known I was pushing for too much, too soon. While I was determined to make Devyn realize how good we could be together, she’d always needed to come around to things in her own time. The more I pushed, the more she’d dig her heels in.

That didn’t make it any less frustrating. I’d promised her space, but it was getting harder to keep my word. But for Devyn, I would do it. I could wait her out if that was what it took to get her back. Years of missing her had made me a stubborn fuck, and I meant what I said. There was no way I was letting her leave town with this tension still simmering between us. She made me feel alive, more alive than I had in years. Maybe she could ignore the spark between us, but I was done doing that. I’d already wasted too much time without her in my life.

At least, I hoped I could hold out. That theory was easier when we weren’t sharing a house. Her bedroom was right across the hall, so close, I could hear her shower from my room. I spent half my days with my straining dick shoved into my jeans and the other half with it gripped in my hand, trying to ease the tension. I’d almost snapped when she came out of her room this morning in her pajamas, a silk tank top and matching shorts that cut off at the tops of her thighs. I’d cursed, trying to think of anything but her smooth skin. Eventually, I’d come out here just to get a break. The cold weather soothed me a little, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed Devyn. Considering sheran out of the room every time I walked into it, that was not going to happen anytime soon.

As I simmered in my thoughts, the front door popped open, and Devyn looked out at me. “Any luck?” she called.

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