Page 202 of Reverse

Adam sits comfortably a couch over, plucking at his unplugged bass as he chats with his wife, Lucia—the most gentle and generous woman on the planet. Adam was the last of the Sergeants to marry, save Ben, and lucked out in his choice forallof us. Lucia has a gift in the way she’s aware of everything going on with the band, both personally and professionally, atall timesand guards us all ferociously and protectively.

Ben sits solo in a chair adjacent to Dad, a table over. Dressed to impress by Lexi in vintage corduroy, suspenders fastened and hanging loosely at his sides, he methodically rolls up the sleeves of his linen button-down, probably by her strict instructions. Fidgeting with the collar, he anxiously flits his gaze back to the door.

True to her ambitious nature and stellar reputation, Aunt Lexi took a last-minute job styling high-profile client and family friend, Mila, who is Hollywood legend Lucas Walker’s wife. The last-minute job was commissioned because of an unexpected pre-premiere event. Just after, Lexi and Benji met up in LA to board their flight, but it was delayed. It’s apparent that they’re cutting it much too close for Ben’s comfort with the way he’s fidgeting. Over the years, and on certain occasions, I know Lexi’s presence has played a major part in Ben’s performances. Her absence, especially when painfully missed, led to some of his most guttural shows. For Ben, it seems as if he uses their tumultuous relationship as a fuel source. Right now, in that respect, I can relate.

Though a rock and roll family, we’ve been through it all and continue to spend our lives together despite the Dead Sergeants’ long-standing hiatus in recording and touring. Holidays, birthdays, Grammy wins and other award shows, vacations, and sadly, one too many funerals, we’ve been there and through ittogether. Blood or not, we are family in every sense of the word, which would make Benji and Rian’s coupling a little taboo and predictably disastrous. Just as forbidden as, say . . . falling madly in love with your mother’s ex-fiancé’s daughter and eloping with her.

Even as pride fills me for the fact that we’re celebrating another milestone tonight, I can’t help but wonder what my family will look like five or even ten years from now, and more so, what it would have looked like if Natalie had accepted her place at the table.

She never even got to meet them.

Ben’s attention whips back to the dressing room door as it bursts open, and a perplexed Aunt Lexi stalks through, Benji on her heels as he steps in behind her before he subtly begins searching the room.

“Thank fuck, get over here,” Ben rushes out, relief taking over his anxiety-filled expression as he pulls Benji into his arms. When Ben’s eyes meet Lexi’s over Benji’s shoulder, I feel it the second they connect.

The grudge on Ben’s part is noticeably absent today, as it has been for some time. He used to be the first to look away, purposefully rejecting her and breaking their connection.

Ben’s long-standinggo-topunishment.

It seems he’s done penalizing her now as their eyes hold before Mom pulls Aunt Lexi into a hug. They embrace the other like they haven’t seen each other in years, not days, but their state is understandable.

Truth be told, they’re the ones with the most history together. Their friendship and bond sparked the start of our family, and the two of them combined became the backbone. That fact is further emphasized as an undeniable sense of relief fills the room.

We’re all here.

Save one Crowne.

A place I’m still holding for her, probably in vain.

Shaking the thought away, I focus back on our reunion. Ben’s smile lifts marginally when Lexi transitions out of Mom’s arms and into his. It’s so clear he needs her. It’s so clear she wants to be needed by him.

Similarly distracted, Benji stands frozen in place a foot from his parents, his eyes sweeping Rian as she catches his gaze and gives him a small wave before resuming her conversation with Rye.

Ouch.

Clearly stung, Benji quickly schools his features before spotting me, stalking over, and collapsing with a sigh on my right.

“How was your flight?” I jab, grinning.

“Fucking hilarious, bro,” he growls as I keep my gaze focused on his parents’ exchange. Benji follows my line of sight.

“Don’t ever try to figure them out. Their ignorance when it comes to the other is mind-boggling.”

“Yeah, I agree. It’s moronic to ignore the way you feel about someone.”

His reply is a cold, dead stare.

“You’re a hypocrite, and you know it.” I press in.

“Jesus, man. I just got here.” Even as he protests, his eyes drift over to Rian, who’s inching her way toward the dressing room door. His shoulders lift and tighten, and I know he’s fighting the urge to go after her.

“She stopped waiting for you, Benji,” I inform him. “A long time ago.”

He shrugs. “So, when the time comes, I’ll shake her fiancé’s hand, have my dance with her at their wedding and then spoil her kids.”

“I’m calling bullshit on that right now,” I say, knowing he’s incapable.

“I made choices I can’t unmake,” he confesses thoughtfully. “So, it’s the only way I’ll be able to remain in her life. I’m too tainted for her at this point anyway. She’s a fantasy, and if I touch it,” he admits, his voice raw as his eyes roll over her, “I’ll destroy it for both of us. The fantasy is always better than the reality anyway.”

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