Page 203 of Reverse

“That’s some jaded, not to mentionrecycledbullshit.”

“Think so?” He turns unforgiving eyes on me. “You hit concrete not too long ago. How’s that working out for you?”

“Fuck you,” I grit out. “You’re right. She deserves better because you’re fucking poison.”

“And you’re filled with it,” he bites out, eyeing his parents, who are now wrapped up in conversation. “Haven’t you gotten it yet, East? Nothing is revered anymore. It’s all talk, all words made meaningless by actions.”

“Actions, Natalie, get on the plane.”

The truth of his declaration hits too close to home, I move to leave him in his tainted state, and he grips my arm and yanks me back down.

“Sorry, man, it’s just my perception. Doesn’t mean you have to buy into it.”

“Also doesn’t mean I have to keep listening to it. Your headspace isn’t anywhere I want to be right now.”

“Sorry.” He ruffles my hair, and I slap his hand away. He ignores the blatant animosity I’m displaying and questions me. “Seriously, how are you?”

“Not feeling the warm and fucking fuzzies at the moment,” I clip as the dark cloud he brought with him lingers overhead.

“Have you talked to her?”

“No, and I’m trying not to think about it.”

He sighs and stands. “I’m going to grab a beer. Want anything?”

“I’m good, thanks,” I manage in an even tone, his presence grating.

“Brought my kit. Up for some ink therapy later?”

“Yeah . . . maybe.”

Dad’s focus flits between Benji and me before he stalks over to me. “Come on, I need a smoke.” He eyes Benji’s retreating back, “Let’s take a walk.”

Knowing he’s full of restless energy, I stand as he informs our crew we’ll be back. Exiting the dressing room, we start the long trek to the parking lot. A few steps in, I roll my eyes down his frame. His own look, though spruced up by Lexi, remains true to his roots and typical stage appearance. Dressed in all black, I note just how much justice she did him. “Nervous?”

“Not really, just ready. The wait is what’s killing me. It really doesn’t get much better than this,” he grins. “It’s a good send-off, right?”

“Send-off?” I stop my footing altogether and turn to him. “This is it?”

He nods. “We decided this morning. We waited for everyone to get here to let you all know. Ben, Rye, and Adam are telling the rest of them now. A farewell tour would just be a formality anyway, and none of us want it.”

“Seriously?” A ball lodges in my throat as I avert my eyes, gutted by the fact that his music career is ending in mere hours. No wonder Mom’s been so emotional today.

“We stopped touring years ago, East. We’re done.”

“Jesus,” I rasp out, my eyes stinging. Lowering them, I go to resume our walk, and Dad stops me by gripping my arm.

“Look at me, son.”

I do and see my own eyes staring back at me, his filled with calm serenity, something I so desperately wish I had.

“I’m ready, Easton.” He shrugs. “Not all of us have a son with enough talent to create their own musical legacy,” he relays with pride. “I lucked out inthatdepartment, and I’d rather kick back and watch you make your mark. I’m so proud I had a hand in it, no matter how small the part I played.”

“It wasn’t small. Not at all.”

“Don’t bullshit me. You’re already surpassing me in a lot of ways.”

I shake my head, incredulous. “You’re wrong if you think any part of what I’m doing doesn’t haveeverythingto do with you and Mom.”

---