Page 99 of In Good Company

It’s too late.

He doesn’t want to talk to me. I know his phone is always on him. He’s on it frequently. He doesn’t miss calls.

He just doesn’t want to talk to me, and I can’t even be mad at him for it.

A sob rips through me as I accept the fact that I’ve lost him. And I can’t blame anyone but myself for it.

FIFTY-TWO

LUCY

I pull into the driveway of my childhood home feeling completely empty.

I’ve called Cal twenty-two times in the last two hours.

He hasn’t answered a single one.

All the calls go straight to voicemail.

Talking to Jude and Charlotte had made me feel so hopeful. Jude had made it sound like Cal would forgive me for anything if he just knew how I felt. Now, he won’t talk to me, so I can’t even tell him how I really feel.

I swallow, wincing at the soreness in my throat from my sobs. I spent the better part of an hour huddled in the back office of the store, letting myself finally break down at the loss of Cal. For two weeks, I’ve tried to be strong. I pushed all thoughts of him from my mind as I focused on being there for my parents.

But I can only be strong for so long.

And having hope that maybe I could make this work—be the daughter my parents deserve and also still have Cal in my life—just to have it ripped away from me was my breaking point.

I’m broken.

I’ve never had my heart broken, not really, and I hope to never feel something like this again. My entire body aches with regret and loss. It doesn’t help that I know I wouldn’t be feeling this way if I’d just been honest with Cal and myself to begin with.

I should’ve known the love we shared was too intense to just fade away with time and distance apart.

I thought I was doing the right thing. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. From the moment we lost Luke and Logan, I tried stepping up to be the perfect daughter. My parents had already lost two children—the golden boys of the family—and I never wanted them to have to worry about me. I wanted to make sure I never gave them trouble. I wanted to make things easy on them.

I dropped all my dreams of becoming a chef and went to college for business and marketing. I worked as much as I could to pay for my schooling and kept the best grades possible. I thought the degree in business would set me up to properly run the store, but my recent failures show I must not have worked hard enough in school.

I’ve tried and tried to be there for my parents, but somehow, it still feels like it hasn’t been enough.

I’m terrible at running the store.

We’re still trying to figure out Dad’s health.

It’s obvious Mom is still stressed, even with me here trying to help.

And in trying to be the perfect daughter, I hurt the man I love, who just wanted to be there for me.

I rub the heel of my palm against my chest, trying to dull the pain.

It doesn’t.

I grab my phone from the passenger seat, checking to see if Cal called me back and maybe I just missed it.

He hasn’t.

With a resigned sigh, I grab my purse and open the door to the car I’ve owned since I was sixteen.

All the lights are on in the house, meaning Mom and Dad are still awake. It’s a little surprising. Typically, they’re both in bed by now.

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