Page 67 of Hidden Memories

Teaching Theo integrity is important to me, and integrity is doing the right thing even when someone else isn’t.

When my dad’s long work hours that were actually affairs were revealed and mom ran away to Brazil with João, I was there for my father many, many times. From twelve, I tried to make him feel appreciated, because even though he’d done wrong, it also felt wrong that mom left. I was there for fancy dinners. Tried to make Christmases bright. I listened attentively to his endless long rants about political candidates and changes to local tax laws that would affect his fortune.

Why did I stay attached to that horrid man who never once listened to me in return? Fear? Survival?

No. I won’t reach out. I have to put my mental health first for once.

Keeper runs ahead of us toward the smell of cooking meat. I glance down at Theo holding my hand and I’m determined to give him better. Better than a narcissistic mom chasing her youth through younger men. Better than conditional love.

The sound of laughter and lively chatter bends around the corner of Enzo and Ava’s house, punctuated by the sizzle of a grill and the occasional pop of a beer can opening. When we turn the corner, the warmth of a family gathering is a perfect portrait before us. Julia opens the gate of the backyard fence, and Theo grabs my hand.

The second I step through the gate, I feel it—his eyes on me. Even before I find him, I sense the shift in the air, like his gaze alone alters the current around us. When I finally meet those brown eyes, damn do I want a do-over on that sofa bed.

He glances up from a deck chair on the patio. Mila sits next to him with her muzzle on his thigh and a ball at his feet. Santi has been concentrating on what appears to be a whittling project in his hands.

I wave bashfully. He left without saying goodbye this morning, but I expected it with him having horses. I’m sure he has earlier starts than even the shop hours at Heritage. Anyway, I didn’t want to face him then. The morning still felt too soon with his warm touch lingering on my lips.

I need to crush this attraction I feel toward him, but… I don’t want to. The jeans, the cardigan, the boots—I tell myself I did this because moms deserve glow-ups, too. But the truth sits heavy in my chest. I did it for him.I’m screwed.

Theo notices Santi and waves. Santi salutes him in return, and the pair share a smile. Since coming to Echo Valley, Theo has experienced more organic smiling than possibly in his whole life. Of course he’s smiled before, but it was always after I carefully orchestrated something that would create so much joy in a moment, there wasn’t a choice. The home he grew up in wasn’t a happy place, but Imade sure there were happy moments. Here, there’s an ease.

Maybe Theo is finding his peace here, too.

“Mom?” Theo gazes up at me. “Can I throw the ball for Mila and Keeper?”

“Of course.”

He runs over to where Santi sits, and with my concern for Theo gone, there’s now only room for my own.

Thankfully, the welcome committee of Echo Valley is here. Ava and Luis rush over to me.

“Kat!” Ava exclaims, almost as if surprised to see me.

But I’m starting to gather this woman is just high on life.

Luis has two drinks in his hand and gestures to each one respectively. “Coke? Chimayo Blondie? I had my son-in-law, Logan, ship me a case of it from Starlight Canyon. It’s a microbrewery there, and it’s better than the big brands.”

“I’d love to try a taste of New Mexico, thanks.” A beer might calm my nerves.

I peek over at Theo who threw one ball but is now sitting tight against Santi in the oversized chair, watching the handsome cowboy work his craft. My chest squeezes at the comfort between the two. Apparently yesterday provided an opportunity for bonding, something that until now, I wasn’t entirely sure Theo was capable of apart from with me.

But he was smiling with Owen when I picked him up yesterday. It was the first time I saw him play with another child in a long time.

His childhood hasn’t been easy. Nic never just let him be a kid. The man had nothing but criticism for our son right from the moment he was born. Theo could do no right in his father’s eyes. I take a slug of my beer to cool the burn that claws at my throat thinking about that vile man. I hatethat I had to stay with him, that I had to expose my son to him. I know so many people would say all children should know their fathers. But those people didn’t know Nic.

Luis brings me back to reality. “How’s the wrist?”

It’s still in a fabric brace, not the accessory I would have chosen with this outfit.

“It’s fine. It mostly hurts when I lift heavier things but not too much at rest. I didn’t even want to wear this thing, but Julia said to keep it on for support for a few more days.”

Ava fake whispers behind her hand, “Little tip? Always do what Julia says.”

I laugh lightly. “It seems like she wears the crown in this town.”

Luis turns his head to hide the smile that instantly overcomes him. He clears his throat. “Ava told me she’s giving a math lesson to Theo tonight?”

I glance over at my son. Theo’s head is dipped down, and he’s squinting in fascination at something Santi points to on his wooden art project. I tilt my head in his direction. “That might be a hard sell right now.”

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