Page 64 of Hidden Memories

He cracks his neck like he does when he’s been irritated and wants to concentrate again. But now he can tell I’m agitated, he won’t be able to focus.

I was borderline scared of Rio when I was a kid. He is one tough man, always made it clear he was technically the oldest if even by a few minutes. Hell, I don’t even recall him feeling like a kid when he was ten and I was seven. I swear he had a beard already then. He’s always felt like a grown person. Even though he and Enzo are twins, he likes to be seen as the leader and puffs out his chest so everyone knows it.

Over time, though, especially when our mother got sick, I noticed that even though he has a metal exterior, somewhere inside, that steel is molten, and he’ll forge his strength into the weapon you need. If the man loves you, he’ll fight your corner and remain strong even when you can’t. I could use some of that strength right now.

He asks me as if annoys him that he can’t help himself wondering. “What’s wrong with you anyway?”

If I lie to him, he’ll be even more annoyed. But there are a lot of things bothering me, so I give him the details we can talk about. “Have you heard about the new employee at Heritage?”

He taps a key hard and swivels his desk chair, lacing his fingers through each other. “The pretty one with a kid?”

I roll my eyes. “You pay too much attention to Julia’s new hires.”

Rio doesn’t take the bait. He leans back, watching me like he already knows. “Uh-huh. And yet, here you are, looking like a man who lost something important.”

He doesn’t wait for me to answer, because something in my expression has him answering a question I never asked.

“I wouldn’t mess with a single mom with you having that foster application open. They’re practically inspecting under your nutsack right now. You don’t want to put your fate in the hands of someone you barely know. Wait ’til you’re approved, then go for it.”

This reminder is a good one because last night? I wanted to lie her down and let us make up for lost time. She felt so fucking good in my grip, on my lips. Maybe I’m stronger than I give myself credit for because I managed to hold back.

I have Owen to think of. And with all this trouble following Kat around, the farmhouse, the outbuilding, the FBI… it wouldn’t exactly enhance my image.

“Yeah… no… we’re just getting friendly, nothing like that.”

He gazes at me from under his eyebrows like I’m full of shit.

“Well, if it’snothing like that,why do you have that forlorn expression of a man not getting what he wants?”

This is why I hate talking to Rio sometimes. The man sees through everything. And even if you refute him, he’ll never believe you because he always thinks he’s right.

This time he is.

But will I keep the fact that Kat and I used to be together a secret from my brothers?

If I close my eyes, I can still smell the linoleum of that police station. Feel the weight of that goddamn duffelbag in my hands. The crushing realization that I’d done something I couldn’t take back.

The last thing I want to do is risk losing my family’s respect. What would Rio think if he knew I nearly threw my life away over a girl? If I hadn’t taken that bag, maybe it would have been different.

Then again, something tells me Paul wouldn’t have stopped until he got what he wanted. If he was willing to go to that extent to control his daughter, to steal true love from her, among all the other things I know he used to do? Hell, he might have put a hit on me. Maybe I got away lucky. I only lost my heart but not my life.

Still, I won’t be owning up to me and Kat being lovers. The shame over making that decision to take that bag to Reno still owns a slice of me.

Now that Kat and I cleared the air, I’m more relaxed that she won’t be rushing off to share our past either, because it’s not comfortable to talk about.

But part of me wants to.

Kat and I are already visibly close. Julia noticed she wasn’t just some random old acquaintance. And part of me hates the thought of her being viewed that way. Giving her some sort of reverence seems fair. She wasn’t some girl I brushed shoulders with in high school. She was my future. And I lost it before I even had a chance to hold it.

I give in slightly to Rio’s observation. “We do know each other. Or did. I met her when we first moved to California.”

His eyes widen. He pushes up his sleeves like he’s about to dive his inked arm into a bowl of popcorn at the movies. “Yeah? Why didn’t you ever mention you had a crush back then?”

“You’re putting words in my mouth.”

“I’m merely translating them.” He tosses me one ofthose smug smiles I had to bat away so many times in childhood.

“The point is, she’s not some meaningless contact on social media, so I have concerns. Plus, she has a child… I think there’s some trouble following her. So… I care.”

---