Page 35 of Perfect Playbook

My dad raises his glass to his sister, to thank her for the dinner, bringing me back to the table and out of the gutter.

“Delicioso.” Then he turns to Logan and continues their conversation about electric fencing. “Well, even a solar energizer can’t solve some problems today. I need to check the line.”

He refers back to his initial reason they started talking about electric fencing in the first place, the cows breaking loose today. When these things happen, I wish my brothers were still here. I wishIwas still here. I know my dad has some ranch hands, but I imagine him being in the middle of cooking for himself and having to drop everything and leaving a gas burner on. There’s no one here to be hispartner when shit hits the fan. Ranching is a twenty-four seven gig, and to top off not having my mom for support anymore… he’s not getting any younger.

“There must be some growth or loose leaves, branches somewhere. Hopefully it’s just the connection gone, but it could be something else.”

Logan, still talking to my father about finding an electric fence fault, wraps his hand around my thigh under the table and gives me a gentle squeeze. It’s meant to be innocent, I think, but now I’m the one who’s charged. I’m buzzing, hot and ready to head back to my bedroom. Or the bathroom. Or a shed. Anywhere my dad and aunt aren’t. Dad snaps me out of it.

“You don’t mind if Logan and I go out to the fields,mija?”

I hope he can’t read my thoughts.

“Dad, you can’t put Lo to work every time he comes over.”

Logan rubs my thigh. “I like helping.”

Oh Lord, he can help me.

I see in his eyes that he wants to help my dad. And much as my core is tingling right now with his fingers splayed across my thigh, I want him out in those fields with my dad even more. Logan and my dad are similar men, both warm and outgoing. Maybe being around Logan will remind my dad he is a man and wasn’t just Carmen’s husband. He needs something, someone to help him find his way out from under that shroud of grief.

If Logan did it for me, maybe he can do it for Dad.

Logan gets up with his plate in hand, takes mine from in front of me to bring to the kitchen. “I’ll just do the dishes and then head out.”

“No, no,” my aunt insists, “Go. We’ll do these.”

Logan heads toward the kitchen with the plates, so natural, like he’s always been part of the family. “You sure?”

“Yes, of course,” she insists, getting some of the dishes herself.

He places the plates next to the sink and swipes a hand around my waist. Logan doesn’t mind public affection. His hand is polite on my back, a gentleman with my family here, but no matter how he touches me, I rage like a bonfire.

“Be back in thirty.”

“Maybe an hour,mija,” Dad corrects.

The door clicks shut behind the men when they leave. My aunt and I clear the rest of the table and take piles of dishes to the kitchen counter.

“You’re done for, Shaylita.” She purrs.

I barely suppress my smile. “What are you talking about?”

“That boy.Dios mío.He ticks all the boxes. Handsome. Talented. Kind. Good appetite.” She begins to fill the sink, squirts in dish soap, and a mound of white suds begin to rise. “Have you two… you know… ?”

My aunt, unlike most of the women in my family, knows not many women my age save it for marriage anymore. It’s a well-known fact but still taboo in my still quite traditional family. I’m caught off guard.

Since I lost my virginity to Logan, I’ve missed my mom more than ever. It’s not the kind of thing I would have run to her and talked about. I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it at all and just let her assume, maybe allowing a simple knowing nod to pass between us. But I miss Mom so much now that somehow, I pretend I would have shared it all with her while cooking here in this kitchen.

“Well?” She puts her hand on her hip.

I pop a shoulder.

She whips me with the towel. “Órale!”

Instantly I freak out that I confessed this. “Don’t tell Dad…”

“Like I’d ever.” She turns off the faucet and puts plates in the bubbles. “Do you love him?”