Page 16 of Perfect Playbook

The room grows quiet and still. I can’t even tell if she’s breathing, and it pains me to know no matter how much I pleasured her beforehand, no matter how soaked she is right now, this will never feel as good for her as it does for me.

Still, she’s giving. Still, she opens herself to me, and I’ll never take this for granted. I’ll never forget for as long as I live how it feels to be inside Shay Mendez, to have her endure this ache so we can share this once-in-a-lifetime moment.

My arms burn trying to keep my weight off her. I want her to be comfortable even though her furrowed eyebrows and tightly closed eyes make it clear she’s not.

Her core clenches around me. She’s so tight. Not only is she a virgin but she’s so much smaller than I am. Does that make a difference? Maybe I’m too big forher.

“Are you okay? I can stop. We can try another time.”

Her eyelashes flutter open. “I’m okay, Logan. I want this. It’s just… not that I have anything to compare it to, but you’re really big.”

“Try to relax. Breathe, baby…” I sink in another inch, and I have to clench my ass to stabilize myself, working hard to be careful.

She reaches up, lacing her fingers through my hair. I know men are supposed to last as long as they can, but a combination of not wanting her to hurt too long and a solid inability to hold back from the ecstasy building has me dragging in and out of her only a few times before every muscle in me coils.

“Shay…” Her name escapes me in a choked exhale as I release inside her.

Stars explode over my vision, and my balls clench. I worry I’m burying myself too deeply. Her body is taut, too… I jerk inside her. My ecstasy somehow finds space inside her tight insides, and I come undone.

But as soon as I can see again, I pull my dick out and wish her features didn’t fill with relief. What kind of cruel creation has God conjured that this feels so good for me and hurts so much for her?

I peel off the condom and toss it in the garbage can, not sure where I should wipe off, if not her sheets. Then again, they won’t survive a second night because there’s blood on me and surely on them, too. Shay is eager to cover herself with the duvet, maybe bashful from the spots of blood. I make a note to help her with her laundry tomorrow.

We lie down. Our bodies naturally find a comfortable crescent shape for both of us, and I spoon her until she falls asleep in my arms.

But I’m wide awake. I’ve always had trouble sleeping,but it’s no surprise insomnia finds me tonight. Even in the darkness, every feature of this room is remarkable, crisp and etched into my mind. I’ll never forget this donut pillow or the cable-knit blanket at the end. I’ll never forget the way she breathes when she sleeps, a silent inhale and an exhale that huffs out with exasperation so similar to her peppery nature. I’ll never forget the fragrant scent of her silky black bob or the way her eyelashes nearly touch the apples of her cheeks.

I found it at the most unlikely time. I never thought in the wake of my father’s death such a beautiful thing would come of it. I can’t help but ask myself if Dad didn’t die, would Shay and I have ever come together? Does Shay ask herself the same question? I hate thinking about it and gather her more tightly against me, spooning her firmly from behind. No. Shay is my fate.

I can’t believe all the times I passed her in the hallways in high school, ate her sweet treats, and stood in line with her at CCs, not realizing she was my person. It makes me laugh, how blind we are.

When I open my eyes in the morning, I dread the thought of her roommate being in the bed next door. How on earth did I not think of it when falling asleep naked as the day I was born?

Shay reads my tug of the sheets over my ass and my rigid body perfectly.

“Do you really think I’d let us have sex and sleep in hereif my roommate was going to be around? She went home for the weekend. Left yesterday afternoon.”

I instantly melt back into her. “Why don’t we do that, too?”

“What?” Her voice is muffled against my chest.

“Let’s go home. Together.” Shay and I sure as hell would give my mom something better to think about than the booze. “Mom can always use good news. I can check on Dash, and if your dad needs any help, I can roll up my sleeves.”

She peeps up from my chest. There’s crust in the corner of her eye and mascara flakes on her cheek, and still she’s the cutest thing ever.

“Are you sure you want to do the family thing already?” Her voice is raspy.

“They already know you. It’s not like I’m bringing home a stranger. Besides, we’ve been together a couple months. I didn’t meet you yesterday.”

Shay hesitates. “Really? You’re ready for all that?”

“Are you?”Please say yes.

“You don’t know what Mexican families are like, Logan. If word gets out there’s a man in my life, I’ll be taking calls from Oaxaca every day. I have more aunts down there than there are days of the week.”

“You don’t want to be that popular?” I already know the answer.

“No thank you.” She kisses my nose. “I’ll save the blinding blaze of the spotlight for you.”

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