Page 94 of Married With Malice

Frankly, I couldn’t be more shocked.

This isn’t a declaration of love and yet it’s far from nothing.

I set the box down and scramble for my purse, hauling out my phone. It beeps with a warning that the battery is at less than ten percent but all I want to do is see the last text Sadie sent.

In the photo, my gaze is pointed down at the kitten and I’m smiling. Nearby, Luca leans against the sink in a casual pose but it’s his face that I really notice for the first time.

He’s staring at me. I remember the scene in the kitchen very clearly. There’s no one else he could have been looking at. Written on his face is an expression of so much earnest tenderness that I can’t breathe.

“We’re not like them, Luca. We don’t have what they have. You will NEVER EVER look at me the way Cale looks at Sadie.”

When I spoke those words in a moment of agony, I was sure they were true.

Now nothing is for sure.

My world has just tilted on its axis and now spins sideways.

These past couple of months have been tumultuous. Sometimes heartbreaking. Sometimes wonderful.

We’ve both been stubborn. And stupid. Mistakes have been made. Tempers have flared. I’ve held back essential pieces of myself rather than risk outright rejection.

It’s always a gamble, exposing your heart.

You may lose. It’s possible you’ll end up crying yourself to sleep when you do.

But with nothing risked, nothing will ever be won. The door to possibility, to happiness and love, will remain forever closed.

I’ve stood behind a closed door for a long time and I don’t like the view.

More than anything, I want to put in the time and the work to build something real. Maybe Luca wants that too.

I owe my husband some honesty. Even more, I owe myself some honesty.

With slightly shaky fingers, I replace the lid on the jewelry box and put it back where I found it. Luca brought this on the trip for a reason. He plans to give it to me here. Last night didn’t end well but we have plenty more nights ahead.

We could have our whole lives.

Now Ireallywish I’d brought a gift for him. I never even gave him his Christmas presents. The meager gifts I bought remain in the bottom drawer of my dresser back on Long Island.

If only I had something to give him that would bridge the divide and make up for the past.

I still feel sick to know that in a fit of anger I burned one of the few possessions he had from his father. And what about that pen he was missing? It was important to him and I didn’t know so I tossed it in the trash.

I can’t replace what Luca has lost but I can give him something new. A symbol of our new start, the one we’ll make together.

There is a boutique downstairs but I’m unlikely to find anything suitable among the designer dresses and jewelry. However, Luca left the keys to the rental car on the table. And the drive down the mountain isn’t far. While I didn’t see much of Sleepy Rock, it’s bound to have some retail. I can stop in to see Sadie and Cale and ask if they have any suggestions.

Luca assumes I’m at the spa all afternoon. And I’ll be back long before dark so there’s nothing to worry about.

Excited by this new plan, I throw my jacket on. I almost leave my scarf behind but then change my mind and sling it around my neck. With my purse and the car keys in hand, I scuttle out the door.

Down in the lobby, the two staff members have been joined by a third employee. They murmur in tense, quiet voices as they watch some scattered snowflakes fall outside the window.

They are so wrapped up in their conversation that they never turn my way and see me leave.

20

ANNALISA

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