Page 60 of The ABCs of You & Me

“Soph?” Maya sounds instantly concerned. “Is everything okay?”

I take a deep breath and then another one until I’m practically gasping.

“You get your shit together, and I’ll be right here okay? Slow breaths, Soph.”

After a few minutes I’ve slowed my breathing down enough that I don’t feel like I’m chasing air.

“Tell me something ridiculous,” I gasp.

“Sure thing.” I can practically see her lean back in her desk chair. “So last night, Davis came over, and my god, Sophie, this maaaan. He shows up with a goddamn mustache. A mustache!” she shouts. “You know, the thing I said I’d never ride.” My breathing changes again as I start to laugh. “But like, here’s this guy who has rocked my world and ruined a bunch of lamps in the process, so I figured why not. I’m going to marry this man, I can feel it. I’m going to be married to a guy with a mustache, and I’m going to be fine with it.”

“Trying new things keeps life interesting,” I say, my breathing back to normal, my heart rate, almost back to normal.

“Davis keeps life interesting,” she cackles. “So, what’s up, Soph?”

“I don’t know?—”

“Nope,” Maya cuts in. “Don’t give me that shit. You know but you don’t want to face it. So let me ask one more time: what’s up, Soph?”

“I think I’m making my life about a guy again, and I’m afraid.”

“What guy?”

“Foster.”

“Fake boyfriend friend date Foster?”

“Mmm.”

“Have you moved in together?”

“No,” I huff.

“Are you doing his laundry?”

“No,” I say quietly.

“Canceling plans with friends because he wants you to hang out with him?”

“No.”

“Are you planning on changing your career path because he thinks you should aim higher than your dream job?”

That one still hurts. I put so much on hold to appease him.

“Are you wearing clothes he picked out for you?” she asks before I can answer.

I bristle at this one. “No.”

“Letting him get off on you without getting you off?”

“Maya!”

“What, didn’t you tell me that’s how it was?”

“Not in those words.”

“Is the meaning the same?”

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