Page 4 of It's Only Ever Been You

Ethan

Age 11

I’m still thinking about her long after I walk away. Emma. The new girl. Quiet, keeps to herself, always got her nose buried in a book. But today, she was surrounded by those jerks, and something about the way she stood there, with nothing but fear on her face and holding her book like she wished she could just jump inside and disappear, made something snap in me.

I don’t usually get in the middle of things. But seeing her like that, with her head down and those guys messing with her, twisting her braid, then throwing her book to the ground… I couldn’t just ignore it.

Now, as I head home, I can’t shake the look in her eyes. She didn’t look at me like everyone else does. She looked at me like I was actually worth something.

Itake a deep breath, hands shoved in my pockets as I kick a rock along the sidewalk. It’s stupid, but I kind of want to see her again. And I have no idea why. It’s not like I know her or anything, but there’s something different about her.

I barely reach my front steps before I hear my mom’s voice calling from the kitchen. “Ethan? Is that you?”

“Yeah, Mom,” I call back, pushing the door open. I drop my bag by the door and head into the kitchen, trying to shake off the weird, buzzing feeling from walking home with Emma.

Mom glances over her shoulder, smiling. “How was school?”

“Good,” I say, grabbing an apple from the bowl on the counter. “Met someone new.”

“Oh?” She raises an eyebrow. “Friend?”

“Yeah…maybe,” I say, shrugging, trying to play it off like it’s nothing. But somehow, it doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like…more. I think back to the way she smiled when we talked about The Dragon’s Secret and how it felt like she was really listening. Like she got it.

Later that Night

I toss and turn that night, staring at the shadows on my ceiling. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s not like we’re best friendsor anything. I barely know her. But tomorrow, I kind of want to see if she’ll actually bring one of her books, like she said. I wonder what other worlds she’s been escaping into while the rest of us are running around the playground.

Something about the idea of reading with her, of sharing something like that, feels…nice. It’s a weird feeling, but it’s there, and I can’t seem to ignore it.

I’m going to make sure those guys don’t mess with her again too. Not just because she’s new or because it’s the right thing to do, but because…I don’t know. I just know she deserves better.

Yeah, I think as I finally drift off to sleep. Maybe now she’s got me too.

……………………………………………………………

The next morning, I’m at the playground a little earlier than usual. It’s cooler today, mist still covering the grass, and I lean against the fence, half-watching everyone as they pile out of the buses. My eyes search the crowd, wondering if Emma will be here early too. I tell myself it’s not because I’m waiting for her. I’m just…curious, I guess.

After a few minutes, I spot her. She’s over by the edge of the playground, holding a stack of books tight to her chest, her arms wrapped around them like they’re some kind of shield. Her head is down, and she’s moving slow, like she’s trying not to get in anyone’s way. She keeps looking around, her eyes darting like she’s searching for somewhere safe,her shoulders kind of hunched, like she’s trying to make herself smaller. I don’t think anyone else even notices her, but I can’t seem to look away.

Then, her eyes meet mine. Her whole face changes, just a little, like she’s not as nervous anymore. She lifts one hand off her books and gives me this tiny wave, like she’s not sure if I’ll wave back. It’s small, almost like she’s testing the waters.

I nod at her, trying not to smile too much because I don’t want to make her feel weird, but something about that little wave makes my chest feel funny, maybe this isn’t so bad. She actually brought books, like she said she would. That’s pretty cool. I shove my hands in my pockets and start walking over, not too fast though, because I don’t want her to think I’m about to say something dumb.

When I get closer, her eyes dart down to her shoes for a second, and I feel this weird mix of nerves and something good. I just really don’t want to mess this up. She looks back up at me, her expression a little calmer now, as though maybe she’s not as nervous as she was before.

“Hey,” I say as I get close, nodding at one of her books. “Is that one from the series you told me about?”

Her eyes light up a little, and she nods. “Yeah, this one’s called The Kingdom Trials. It’s…the best one so far.”

“You gonna tell me about it, or just keep me in suspense?” I ask, half-teasing.

She laughs a little, and it’s quiet but real. “I guess I could tell you. There’s this girl who’s trying to make it in the court, but everyone else thinks she’s not good enough. She has to solve all these puzzles and, well, she’s pretty brave.”

I listen, nodding as she talks, taking in the excitement in her voice. It’s like she’s transported to another world when she talks about her books, her face lighting up in a way I haven’t seen yet. I can’t help but grin, wondering if she even realizes how cool it is to see someone that into something.

“Sounds like you,” I say, without really thinking.

She looks at me, surprised. “Me?”

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