Page 5 of It's Only Ever Been You

“Yeah, you know,” I say, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “New kid, having to deal with all the jerks who don’t think you’re tough. But you didn’t let them see you were scared.”

She glances down, her fingers brushing over the edges of her book like it’s something she can hide behind. Her voice is quiet when she finally says, “Well, I wasn’t really… that brave.”

“Sure you were,” I say, my tone firmer now. “You didn’t run. You were holding your ground. That’s pretty brave.”

She shifts a little, her shoulders curling inward, like she doesn’t quite believe me. But I can see it—how the words hit her, the way she glances up for just a second before looking down again. I can tell she’s not used to hearing someone say something good about her.

For a second, we just stand there, the air between us kind of heavy but not in a bad way. I can tell she’s not used to someone saying stuff like that to her, but I mean every word. I know plenty of kids who would’ve just dropped their book and run, but she didn’t. She stood there, clutching it like it was some kind of armor, and that’s pretty brave if you ask me.

“You’re tougher than you think,” I say after a beat, and her eyes flick up to mine. There’s this tiny spark in them, as if she’s starting to believe it too. Or at least, like she wants to.

The bell rings, breaking the moment. She gives me a small smile, and I find myself hoping it won’t be the last one. As we head inside, I walk beside her, making sure we’re shoulder-to-shoulder as we step into the hallway. I spot a few of the boys from yesterday down the hall, but they barely look at her, their eyes shifting away when they see me. I don’t know why, but I feel this little spark of pride, like I’m protecting something valuable.

When we get to class, she heads to her desk, giving me one last shy smile before she sits down. I settle into my seat, glancing over a few timesto see her already lost in her book, her brow furrowed with concentration.

I can’t help but think that maybe this is the start of something new, something I didn’t even know I was looking for.

……………………………………………………………

Lunchtime rolls around, and I spot Emma sitting under the big maple tree at the edge of the playground, knees pulled up to her chest, her book open in front of her. She doesn’t look up, too absorbed in whatever story has her attention, and for a second, I think about leaving her to it. But something pulls me forward anyway.

I walk over, sitting down beside her without a word, just close enough that our elbows almost brush. She glances over, surprised, and I see that same little spark of uncertainty in her eyes, like she’s still getting used to having someone around.

“Hey,” I say, nodding at her book. “What part are you at?”

Her face lights up again, and she closes the book enough to show me the cover. “The princess just found a map hidden in her father’s journal. She thinks it’s going to lead her to a treasure that’ll prove she deserves to be part of the court.”

“Sounds pretty intense,” I say, leaning back against the tree trunk. “Think she’ll find it?”

“I hope so,” she says, sounding completelyearnest. “But if she doesn’t, I think she’ll be okay. She’s already proved a lot just by trying.”

I nod, genuinely impressed. “You really like this stuff, don’t you?”

She shrugs, her gaze dropping to the book in her lap. “It’s just…different. When I’m reading, I don’t have to worry about…well, anything, I guess. It’s like the world goes quiet for a while.”

Her voice is so soft, like she’s afraid to admit it out loud. But there’s something in the way she talks about books, the way her fingers trace the edges of the pages like they hold something precious, that makes me see her in a new light. She’s not just quiet—she’s thinking, feeling, in ways most people probably don’t bother to understand.

I get that in a way I didn’t expect. I may not be as big a reader as she is, but I know what it’s like to want to escape for a while. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just floating through my days, not really part of anything, just…there. But sitting here with Emma, it feels different, maybe I’ve found something—or someone—worth sticking around for. She makes the quiet feel less lonely, as if there’s a kind of magic in just… being here.

We sit in comfortable silence, watching the other kids run around, their laughter and shouts blending into the background. A few pass by, glancing our way, but none of them sayanything. Maybe they already know better. Or maybe they just don’t care. Either way, I notice the way the space around us feels different, like there’s a kind of invisible barrier keeping the chaos out. I wonder if she notices it too—or if it’s just me.

She adjusts her grip on the book, her fingers brushing against the cover almost nervously, and I can’t help but glance over. There’s a stillness to her now, like she’s thinking about something she won’t say out loud. And for some reason, I hope she knows she doesn’t have to say it—not to me. I’d sit here with her like this every day if it meant she didn’t have to worry so much about the noise.

……………………………………………………………

As the final bell rings, I spot her glancing my way, her hand lifting in a small, shy wave. It’s just a little thing, but it makes me grin without thinking. I grab my stuff, stuffing my notebook into my bag and slinging it over my shoulder before heading toward the door where she’s waiting.

“Walk home together?” I ask, keeping my tone casual.

She nods, that soft smile returning. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

We fall into step, side by side, neither of us in a rush to get home. We talk about the book some more, about how she thinks the princess will outsmart her enemies and how she wishes she could be as brave as her.

“You know you’re brave, right?” I say, before I can stop myself, glancing over at her as we walk. She stops mid-step, looking at me like she’s not sure if I’m joking.

“I don’t feel brave,” she says quietly, her fingers tightening around her book.

“Well, you are,” I say firmly, meeting her eyes. “You stood up to those guys yesterday, even if you were scared. That’s what being brave is. Just… don’t forget that, okay?”

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