Page 22 of It's Only Ever Been You

Me: Yeah, no worries. Good luck.

It’s becoming a pattern, and I hate it. We’re orbiting around each other, but we’re never in the same place, never getting that chance to just be us. She’s got her literature thing, and I’ve got football, and every day, and I’m afraid we’re growing into two completely different people.

Growing apart.

A week later, I spot her again, this time at one of the student lounges, her head buried in a thick book, her face a mix of concentration and exhaustion.She doesn’t even notice me coming up to her until I’m right in front of her.

“Hey,” I say, and she looks up, surprised, as if she never expected to see me here at all.

“Oh, hey, Ethan!” She smiles, but there’s this weariness in her eyes that makes me hesitate.

“Thought maybe we could hang out? It’s been a while,” I suggest, hoping she’ll say yes, hoping she’ll ditch the books for just a few hours.

She bites her lip, looking almost guilty. “I really want to, but I’m so behind. There’s this seminar I’m trying to prepare for, and if I don’t finish…” Her voice trails off, her focus already shifting back to her reading.

I nod, forcing a smile. “Yeah, no, it’s cool. I get it.”

She reaches out, touching my arm. “Soon, okay? I promise.”

But I’m starting to doubt that. She’s slipping away, piece by piece, and I don’t know how to bring her back.

The frustration builds, festering like an itch I can’t scratch. I’m running drills with the team, lifting more weight than I probably should, pushing myself past my limits just to clear my head. But it’s not working. Every time I finish a set, every time I catch a break, the same thought creeps back: Emma’s off in her own world, and I’m not part of it anymore.

One night after practice, I head to the student union, grabbing some food. I’m hoping maybe I’ll run into her. But as I sit there, poking at my food, I realize how pathetic this is. I shouldn’t be waiting around like some lost puppy. I have my own thing going on, right? Football, the team… that should be enough.

But it’s not.

Just as I’m about to leave, I spot her walking in with her group of bookish friends. They’re all laughing, carrying stacks of books and notebooks, looking like they just came from some study session. I can’t help but notice the way she lights up around them, that same spark she used to have when it was just the two of us.

Without thinking, I call out, “Emma!”

She glances over, surprised to see me. Her smile flickers a bit as she makes her way over, her friends hanging back, watching us with curious eyes.

“Hey, Ethan,” she says, and there’s that polite, almost distant tone again, the one I’ve been hearing more and more.

I try to shake off the frustration and keep things light. “You, uh, forgot to call for that rain check on coffee.”

She laughs, but it feels forced. “Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been… kind of crazy.”

“Yeah, I get it. New world, new friends,” I say, my voice coming out more bitter than I intended.

Her smile disappears, shifting into something between guilt and frustration. “It’s not like that, Ethan. I just have a lot on my plate right now.”

“Yeah, don’t we all?” I reply, and I see her tense up. Her friends shift uncomfortably, clearly feeling like they’re intruding.

She gives me a look, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I should get back to my friends. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

“Sure,” I say, forcing a smile. But as she turns back to her group, laughing at something one of the guys says, I feel that familiar sting of jealousy creeping in again. “But you probably won’t!” I mutter under my breath. I think she might have heard me because she looks over her shoulder and gets a sad look on her face. Well, you brought that on yourself sweetheart.

A few nights later, I’m at a team party. It’s loud, packed, and my head’s already buzzing from a couple of beers. I’m trying to have a good time, trying to lose myself in the noise and the crowd, but I can’t shake the feeling of frustration that’s been building for weeks.

One of the guys on the team, Jace, claps me on the shoulder. “Dude, lighten up! You look like you’re about to punch someone.”

I force a laugh. “Just…a lot on my mind.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Oh, let me guess. The ‘friend’ you keep mooning over? What’s her name…Emily?”

“Emma and shut up, man,” I mutter, but he just laughs.

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