Page 21 of It's Only Ever Been You

After a few minutes, the guitar strumming stops, and the bonfire crowd starts to disperse, leaving us alone under the stars. I glance over at him, noticing the relaxed expression on his face as he stares up at the sky.

“Did you ever think we’d end up here?” I ask softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

He turns to me, his gaze warm and steady. “Honestly? I always hoped we would. Maybe I didn’t know how it would look exactly, but… yeah.”

The way he says it makes my stomach flip. I want to ask him what he means, to push for more, but something stops me. Maybe it’s the fear of shattering the moment, or maybe it’s the unspoken understanding that’s always been there between us.

Instead, I lean my head against his shoulder, letting the silence fill the space between us. For a while, we just lay there on the grass, breathing in the night air, watching the stars, and nothing else in the world matters.

And in that moment, I realize that as long as I have Ethan by my side, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Chapter Eight

Growing Pains

Ethan

College

It’s been a couple of weeks since move-in for junior year, and everything’s a blur. My days are crammed with practice, conditioning, and study sessions with the team, while my nights… well, those barely feel like mine anymore. Between everything I’m expected to keep up with, I’m on autopilot most of the time. College life is no fucking joke! With junior year kicking off, everything feels more intense. Practice has ramped up, classes are tougher, and the pressure is on in ways I never expected. College isn’t just an experience anymore; it’s a countdown.

Emma’s been the same, buried under stacks of books and assignments. She’s majoring in English—or something that lets her spend half her day reading novels no one else has the patience for. Sometimes, I’ll catch her in the library, hunched over a pile of books, completely focused. She looksready to tackle every essay, every line of text, as if it holds the key to something bigger.

I know it’s good for her—she loves this stuff. But damn, I barely see her anymore, and when I do, she’s either too exhausted to talk or rushing off to her next study group. It’s weird to think we’re juniors already, just one more year before everything shifts again. We’re supposed to be growing up, finding direction. But if that’s true, why does it feel like she and I are drifting in opposite directions?

One night, after practice, I spot her outside the library. She’s with a couple of classmates, laughing, looking so… comfortable with them. The scene hits me hard, a reminder that she has her own world here, separate from me. It’s strange, realizing I’m not the center of it anymore.

“Hey, Em,” I say, coming up behind her.

She turns, her face lighting up for a second before the weariness settles back in. “Hey, stranger! How was practice?”

“Exhausting,” I shrug, glancing at the group she’s with and smiling at them. “Just figured I’d check in. Haven’t seen you much lately.”

She gives me a sympathetic smile, but I can tell her mind’s half with the conversation with her friends. “I know. It’s just…a lot. This one class alone is kicking my ass.” She laughs, but there’s a hint of stress beneath it.

I want to tell her it’s fine, that I understand. And I do—school’s been crazy for both of us. But I still miss her, and part of me wishes she’d carve out more time for me, the way I always seem to for her.

I nod, trying to brush it off like it doesn’t bother me. I get it—she’s meeting new people, finding her place here. But every time I see her surrounded by faces I don’t recognize, there’s this strange pang of… something I can’t quite name. Jealousy? Loneliness? Maybe a mix of both. She’s diving headfirst into this new life, while I’m stuck on the sidelines, watching it all unfold without me.

“So, uh, when do you get a break from all this studying?” I ask, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice.

She glances back at her friends, then looks at me, a little apologetic. “Honestly? I don’t know. This professor is intense. There’s this whole project we’re supposed to do on top of the readings, and then there’s a ton of essays… I feel like I’m already behind.”

I force a smile. “I get it. You’re busy. But I just…miss you, you know?”

She gives me a soft smile, but her eyes are already wandering back to her group. “Me too, Ethan. Maybe we can grab coffee sometime?”

I nod, but the suggestion feels hollow, more of a courtesy than anything else. “Yeah, sure. Just let me know.”

She gives my arm a quick squeeze, then heads back to her group, laughing at something one of the guys says. I watch her walk away, feeling like I’m losing a part of her to something I can’t even compete with.

Over the next few weeks, things only get worse. The more she immerses herself in her studies, the more I feel the gap widening between us. Every time I think about reaching out, there’s another practice, another late-night workout, or some team meeting I can’t skip.

One Friday night, after a long week of classes and drills, I text her.

Me: You around? Wanna grab something to eat?

Emma: Hey! Wish I could, but I’m swamped. Big paper due Monday. Rain check?

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