Page 161 of Beautiful Storm

“I threw myself into this relationship like I’ve thrown myself into everything, but I’m worried I can’t handle it.What if I can’t handle it?I have no clue what I’m doing and I’m terrified I’mgoing to fail her. No, I’m terrified I’m going to fail her again. Like I have so many times over the years.Like I’m still doing. I made a pact when we were kids that I’d make her life easier, that I’d help fight all her battles, but I keep fucking it up. My latest mistake ended with swelling on her fucking brain. And even if I wanted to help now, I can’t. I can’t do a damn thing and it’s killing me to sit around and wait.”

“All she needs is for you to be here for her. And none of this was your fault.”

“I was too focused on hurting Jake when I should have removed her from the situation. Jelly Bean needs both her parents, and instead of protecting Amelia, I let my rage take over me. And now I can’t be there for her. I can’t do anything to help.”

“No, you can’t. But you can be here for your daughter. Just like you are now.” She stands up and takes a step closer to the bassinet, her eyes lighting up. “She’s beautiful, Luke. Look at her.”

“She is. She’s perfect and I’m so scared I’m going to fuck this up too.”

“You won’t. The fact that you're this worried is proof of that. You won’t let yourself mess up.”

“Maybe so, but I fucked up with Ace when I was worried, so what makes this any different?”

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“What name?”

“You just called Amelia Ace.”

I did?“Right. Sorry. I used to call her that when we were kids.” When I admired her for something or needed her to be strong. Like now.

“Of course you did.” Lainey rolls her eyes until something clicks in her expression. “So, Ace is Amelia.”

“Yep.”

“Well, there you go.” She grins, making me snap out of my grief for a second.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. I just remember thinking you were in love with that girl. But I didn’t know Ace and Amelia were one and the same.”

“I wasn’t in love with her. I was a kid.”

“A crush then. Either way, you love her now, right?”

“More than anything, except maybe…” I trail off as my gaze finds Jelly Bean, and Lainey sighs beside me.

“God, even Ilove her more than anything. But don’t tell Thomas that. She really is perfect.”

“Well, she’s half me.” I shrug with a straight face.

Lainey laughs before her expression turns serious again. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Always hide your feelings. You know how that turned out for Thomas.”

“He has a great life.” I jokingly scoff. “I’d say it turned out pretty well.”

“Now. But for a long time—”

“I know, Lainey.” My face softens. “But I promise I’m good. Having you here has helped.”

“Good, I’m glad. Do you want me to stay while you wait? Or… is there anything you need?”

“No, that’s okay. If you leave now you can probably catch the end of the game and—”

“The game is not important. You are.”

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