Page 97 of Chasing Sarah

Answering them would mean giving him a part of the past I’ve spent years running from. It would mean trusting him with more than my body.

And yes, I’m more than aware he hasn’t given me a reasonnotto trust him. But I can’t just change the way I’m hardwired.

When I fully open up to him, he will hold all the power to destroy any pieces of me that are left.

He gently caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers. Unconsciously, I lean into his touch.

The burn behind my eyes is instant.

God.I’m so sick of crying.

“Sarah. Look at me.” I close my eyes and softly shake my head.

“Please.”

Teardrops cling to my lashes when I open my eyes. So many emotions swirl in the different green hues of Rhys’ irises.

TRUST HIM. LET HIM IN.

My heart and mind are at war with each other.

I’m so confused but I’m also sotired.

I’m tired of being alone even in a room full of people. I’m tired of pretending to be okay when everything inside is screaming in pain. I’m tired of worrying if, and when, the next person I let in will leave me.

The loss of Karley, Bones, and the bar lingers. No longer raw, but still painful if acknowledged. I haven’t heard from either. My last check was sent to my account with no issues. It was a larger amount than I was expecting but I don’t even get the chance to check if it’s right.

“Sarah?”

My eyes shoot to Rhys who stares at me with a soft expression. I feel his affection deep inside my bones.

Take the chance. Fall and trust he will be there to catch you.

I study every strong angle that make up his face. Every brown freckle. The curve of his soft lips. Warmth spreads through me; the truth becomes clear and nearly knocks me off my feet.

I love him.

God, I love this man so much it’s terrifying.

“I grew up with four brothers.” The words spill out of me without a second thought.

A sad smile lifts the corner of his mouth. He shakes his head. Remaining silent, giving me time to open up to him at my own pace.

Another reason I know I can trust him. He knows me almost as much as I know myself. He can read me like a damned open book to which he is the only one who understands the language.

I let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah… Xander, Tommy, Ronny, and Colson.”

Understanding flashes in his eyes.

“Where are they?” His voice is low, filled with remorse and empathy.

I swallow the lump that threatens to choke the life out of me.

“They died.” I clear my throat, pulling away from his touch. I wipe my sweaty palms against the leggings I changed into this morning. “I was 18.”

He curses under his breath.

“There was a fire.” My voice cracks. I’m thrust into the past. The burning in my lungs is no longer from trying to contain my emotions but from the smoke and soot drifting into them. I struggle to continue speaking. Admitting leads to accepting.