Page 59 of Chasing Sarah

We’re flying down the road. I smile widely at the adrenaline that begins rising in my body.

“Slow down,” Xander says, and I reluctantly ease off the gas.

I swear time slows with the speedometer.

“Slower,” he orders, and I huff before doing as he says.

“Xander, I’m driving below the speed limit,” I complain, watching as an old lady coasts by in her Oldsmobile.

“Eyes on the road! I’d like to live to see my future kids!”

My brothers erupt like hyenas at Tommy’s panicked voice. I roll my eyes then focus on the road ahead.

Twenty minutes later, we’re pulling into our cracked concrete driveway. Tommy and Colson all but catapult out of the car and begin kissing the ground.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” I seethe, rounding the hood of the car.

Ronny and Xander chuckle at their ridiculousness.

“You drive like you want to be in Tokyo Drift or something.” Ronny hooks his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his frame, planting a wet kiss on my cheek.

“Ugh!” I push him away and swipe at the saliva on my skin. “I don’t like driving slow,” I defend.

“Yeah, well, you can’t drive like that if you want your license,” Xander states, walking toward the front door.

My brothers and I follow him inside and make our way to the kitchen.

“What are we thinking for dinner?” Xander opens the refrigerator and freezes. I watch as his jaw ticks, sadness and frustration flash across his face.

The room falls silent as we wait for Xander to say something. Anything.

He releases a deep breath, flexing his fingers on the handle.

“I’ve got some cash for pizza,” Tommy says, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. He hands the money to Colson, then nods toward the ancient house phone on the counter.

The refrigerator door closes with a slam and Xander turns to face us. Stress mars his face, and he studies each of us.

Silently, we watch as he leaves the kitchen and walks up the stairs.

“Pizza will be here in about 45 minutes,” Colson announces, breaking the tension surrounding us.

Spinning on my heels, I stride up the stairs and into my room. The weight of Xander’s stress presses against my chest and I rub at the spot. I pull my dated cell phone from my back pocket and begin typing out a text.

I’m going to help my brothers in whatever way that I can. Even if I know they’ll likely kill me if they find out what I’m about to get myself involved in.

After pressing send, I fall back onto my mattress with a huff.

I mindlessly study the ceiling of my bedroom.

In my heart, I know my idea is bad and I know I shouldn’t get wrapped up with this sketchy group… But what other options do I have?

Xander has aged since he’s taken on the role of our guardian and it’s breaking my heart.

He shouldn’t have to worry about taking care of us. He shouldn’t have to be burdened with making sure his siblings are fed and the bills are paid.

He should have been able to go off to college and make something of himself away from this shitty small town.

My phone vibrates with an incoming call.

---