Page 135 of Chasing Sarah

“Look at me.”

I lift my gaze from the gravel to his.

“Tá mé ceart anseo,”he reiterates.

I give him a wobbly smile and offer a small nod.

Hand in hand, we push through the gate. Everyone else follows closely behind, offering their silent support. Despite not being here in years, I walk the path to my brothers’ as if I’ve walked it daily.

My lungs seize when their headstones come into view. I lean against Rhys who steadies my faltering steps. My vision blurs, and I struggle to keep going.

“You’ve got this, baby. Just a few more steps.”

Stepping closer, I fall to my knees onto the wet ground. I hunch over, taking the blades grass into my fists.

The rest of the world fades, all the left is me and my brothers.

“I’m so sorry I never came back,” I sob. “It hurt too much.”

I lift my head when I feel someone kneel beside me.

Paige and Emily sit on either side of me, tears running down their face.

“Hi,” Paige croaks, facing the headstones. “I’m Paige.”

“And I’m Emily.”

Declan and Liam introduce themselves; both have tears in their eyes.

I smile at them then gesture to my brothers’ names.

“Xander was my eldest brother, more like a father to me if I’m being honest.” They nod as they listen. “Tommy was next, then Ronny, and finally Colson.”

I feel Rhys’ eyes on me as I share stories of my childhood with my brothers. They laugh when I tell them about Ronny being chased by the rooster we tried to kidnap and when I talk about learning how to drive an actual car, not a go kart.

“You know, listening to these stories,” Paige says, looking up at me. “The way you are makes so much more sense.”

I chuckle, swiping away a tear. “They were my everything.”

I slowly climb out of bed, avoiding waking Sarah.

After leaving the cemetery, we came to the hotel we’re staying at. I held Sarah in my arms as she let out a waterfall of tears in the bath. Once she exhausted herself, I helped her dress in a baggy tee then tucked her into bed.

She was fast asleep within seconds of her head meeting the pillow.

I quietly dress then place a soft kiss on her forehead.

Stepping out into the hallway, I make my way to the elevator.

* * *

I clear my throat and slip my hands into my pockets.

XANDER JAMES WILKSON – AUGUST 1995 to NOVEMBER 2021.

THOMAS RAY WILKSON – APRIL 1997 to NOVEMBER 2021.

RONALD SAWYER WILKSON – JUNE 1999 to NOVEMBER 2021.

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