Page 41 of The Billionaire & the Nanny: Part 4

Alana

Something has clicked in Kase.

I feel it in his touch—it’s softer. Less about controlling me and more about exploring, taking advantage of the moment, this balcony, my body. It’s…I don’t know. Adoration? Whereas before, he was all “I’ll show you what you want,” now he only wants to breathe me in, taste my gifts, and show me all he can be.

It doesn’t take long for my desire to build. I mean, we’ve practically been having sex with our clothes on the entire night long, from one club to the next. That’s the thing about Miami Beach, I don’t feel like anyone cares or is offended. Everyone’s here for the same sensual block party. Even now, completely stark naked (except for my shoes) out on this balcony, I don’t care anymore if someone can see us.

It’s just me and Kase, the ocean swishing below, and the cries of partygoers up and down the strip. And Kase’s tongue, Kase’s mouth, Kase’s hot breath, slicing me open, searing me from my ass all the way up to my clit, working it in circles, molding me on his tongue. My body gives in readily—because I feel I’m his now—no one has ever owned me before, and no matter what happens between us, no one ever will again.

Not this same way.

When he starts fucking me with his fingers and sucking on my clit in a faster rhythmic way, I can’t hold on anymore and come, giving him my love. Joyously, he slathers his own face with my juices running out of me, and I relish in the roughness of his beard. “Fuck yeah…” The stars swirl, the breezes float over my back and bare ass, exposed to the beach below.

I’m buzzed but I’m aware of everything and though he stands and spins me around, forcing my breasts up against the railing, spilling over the edge, my nipples hardening in the wind, I almost lose my footing. His arms reach around me tightly to keep me from falling. I was never falling anyway—it was the dizzying sensation from the orgasm plus the drinks I’ve had tonight, married in a hazy dance.

“This.” I feel a slap to my ass. Then another. And another. I’m sure my cheeks are red, but I don’t care, because then his hand covers and soothes the pain. “This ass is mine, Alana.”

“Take it,” I tell him without realizing what I’m unlocking.

“No. Not tonight.” After feeling every contour of my body with his hands, he spins me around and unbuckles his jeans, pulling down the front of his shorts to expose his dick which never ceases to amaze me. Long and fat and covered in veins, ugly and massive, it’s so suckable, I long to have it in my mouth.

But Kase has other plans.

Positioning himself under me, suddenly, he hoists me up and wraps my legs around his waist. My feet instinctively lock behind his back. I’ve always thought I’d feel self-conscious with anybody doing this to me, but Kase lifts me like I’m made of baby hair, positions my pussy right over the head of his cock, then lets me fall onto him.

I groan, as he skewers me, filling me all the way to my core, pounding and lifting me, letting me fall and bounce on his cock, as his fingers dig into my ass. His stance is wide for balance, his arms and abs taut from the positions and strain of fucking me, carrying me, and standing all at the same time.

Somewhere below, I think I hear amused conversation of people who might’ve spotted us. I can’t be sure, and I don’t care, because I’m not there. I’m nowhere and everywhere at the same time, having an out-of-body experience as Kase batters my sore pussy with his massive cock, taking me higher, making me feel all sorts of new heights of pleasure I’ve never felt before. His tongue plunges into my mouth, our foreheads press together, and I swear, at some point, we meld and become one.

One person. One beast. One entity.

Something inside of me snaps, and I’m not the Alana I’ve always known. I’m desperate for deeper jabs, needy for his balls to slap my ass, wishing he could fill my entire solar plexus then spill his seed way up into my soul. My fingers dig into his back, scratch for more, and I’m frantic for him to come, to take me with him, for us to climax together, so I can scream it from this balcony how good this man fucks me, how much I adore him, and how panicked I feel that I’m going to lose him.

I can’t lose him. We’ve come too far, and I’ve allowed myself to get too close.

But it might be too late, because as he moans and cries my name and shoots way up into my body, gripping my back and pressing his spent forehead into my chest to suckle on my breast, I feel something shift again. This man who’s completely ravaged my body, who’s wanted me all night and brought me to a city three thousand miles away for a day, suddenly sets me down on the ground and rolls slightly away.

As though he’s gotten too close. As though he felt our oneness.

And decided it was too much.

* * *

When we returnto his home in NYC, it’s amazing how quickly we fall back into our roles. Though the rest of last night was peaceful, we slept the whole night together, then took off this morning on a plane back home, now Kase is back to busy, back to being Liam’s dad, back to asking me to do things for him around the house.

Maybe this is just how it will be. Maybe with us, it’s three steps forward and two steps back. I certainly don’t feel like he’s pushing me away, but he’s being cautious, and something inside of me desperately wishes to reach him. What is he hiding? How can I help? Is it a trust issue? Maybe if he felt he could completely trust me, he could confide in me. It bothers me that we can be as intimate as ever but there still be a wall around his heart.

And I spend the next few days giving him that space he needs on the other side of that wall while simultaneously plotting to destroy it.

* * *

A week later,the day in Miami feels like a long-gone dream, Liam has graduated to solid foods, demanding Cheerios all day long, and Kase comes home from work happy. It’s like we’re all playing roles of mommy, daddy, and baby in a family with no name, trying out this repetitive dynamic to see how it fits. I don’t bring up the connection we felt in Miami. I know better than to push Kase away, but at some point, he’s going to have to give.

I scope out my perfect moment—on a Saturday when the three of us are taking a stroll through Central Park right as the temperature goes up, and I can actually wrap my sweater around my waist from how warm it’s starting to feel. Spring is a time of renewal, new beginnings, and I feel it down to my toes. Liam has been babbling a lot more. I’m curious to see what his first words, but a sadness also hits me.

Will I be here for that event?

Will I be here for his first steps? His first run, his exploration phase, and his second year? I’ve been checking job postings every day, and though I still haven’t seen a job I’d like to apply for, with pay high enough to pull me away from nannying, I feel we’re getting closer. A sister company to Lodwick has just hired a new exec, and if they’re hiring, then maybe others will begin again too.

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