Page 35 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

Cryptic. Heartbreaking. A man with no dreams for his life. How quickly our date has turned somber, but I think it’s good that we’re at least talking about it. I don’t push for answers. Whatever is plaguing him, I know it’s a byproduct of his former life. There’s deep pain there, and the caretaking, maternal side of me wants to make it go away. But I wonder…could Ethan ever truly be happy? He’s a deeply woundedman.

Is it possible for one person to absorb grief away from another?

Covering his hand with mine, I say, “If I could take away your pain, whatever it is, I would in a heartbeat.”

Lips press into a sad, regretful smile. “You alreadyhave.”

I have? I’m delighted to hear that. It makes me feel sturdier on such shaky ground.

After that, we talk about more light-hearted subjects such as where we went to school and the rather insignificant boyfriends and girlfriends we’ve each had. That’s one thing we have in common—neither of us has ever been in love before. Me, because I just haven’t had time, being the oldest and helping my mom take care of the family, but Ethan, because he hasn’t let anyone into his life. Instead of relationships, he’s had a string of quick conquests, a fact I’m trying hard not to think about rightnow.

My phone rings during dinner. It’s my mom, but I decline thecall.

“Is that important? Answer it,” hesays.

“It’s just mymom.”

“I don’t mind. Your mom is important to you.” To you. Aren’t moms important to most people?

My mother calls again, which is weird and insistent, so I pick up. “Mom? Can I call you back. I’m in the middle of dinner.” She sounds frantic and stuffy-nosed, as though she’s been crying, and something about her tone makes me still and listen. “I mean, I’m sorry. Tell me what’sup.”

She’s in danger of losing the house. She doesn’t know what to do. My dad’s been out for weeks looking for a job. I had no idea he had lost his previous one at the auto repair. Suddenly, the warm tones and New York City ambience around me feel out of place. I’m not this high-profile socialite. I’m a simple girl from the suburbs, and my parents are going through a hard time while I pretend to be the girlfriend of a richman.

“Okay, Mom, just stay calm, alright? I’ll wire you money tonight,” I promise her. “I’ll call you when I get back to the house.”

After the call, Ethan looks up. “Everything alright?”

“She’s behind three months on her mortgage payment,” I explain.

“How much is it?” heasks.

No. I know where he’s going with this, and it’s not going to happen. “I don’t know,” I lie. “But my whole next paycheck will go to her, or my siblings won’t even have any food or clothes. God, this sucks. Be glad you have no idea what this feelslike.”

“Let me help, Penelope.”

“No. No way. This is not your problem, and I was already going to help her out. It’s why I took this job.” I feel strange telling him that, because nannies are supposed to look so cheerful and happy to be living in your home, taking care of children who aren’t ours, but yes, the truth is—we’re usually in need of money.

“Can I at least give you an advance on your paycheck? It’s Tuesday. You don’t get paid until Friday. That way, she’ll have the money by tomorrow?” hesays.

I appreciate that he’s trying to help, so I nod. “That’s fine. Thanks, Ethan.”

But now our dinner has been dampened twice. And now, the question I’ve been pushing away every day begins to creep into my thoughts. The whole way back, in our car ride, he holds my hand, but I’m dying to know—is he giving Lilly Belle up for adoption? I’m dying to know. Dying for him to finally divulge.

Why should it matter?

She’s not my child. I’m not her mother. Am I just stressed because my mother called me freaking out, or because Ethan had the chance to tell me about the adoption during dinner but he didn’t? Is it because I’m falling for a man who’s emotionally unavailable? The exact crux of my stress tonight is undefined, and maybe it’s just my current mood, but suddenly, I need to know the answer.

I’m tired of waiting.

When we get back to his house, I pause at the stairs while he hangs our coats and says goodnight to Wilson. I enjoy the air of silence and tranquility before it all changes. His answer will determine so much. I need to know if I’m to move on in my life. The fact is, I’ve grown attached to him and to Lilly Belle.

There—truth.

It shouldn’t have happened but it did. “Ethan, I need to ask you something.”

“Can it wait ‘til I’m upstairs and changed?”

“Not really. It’s been bothering me for a while. I wasn’t supposed to know, but I overheard your mom. I’ve acted like I don’t know. Maybe it’s not even my business, but…are you giving up Lilly Belle for adoption?”

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