Page 31 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

Ethan

Hadsomeone told me I’d be making dinner for other people while a baby bounces in her bouncy chair a few feet away, laughing at Wilson’s funny faces, like he’s her grandfather when I’m supposed to be at work making sure my company stays on target, I would’ve told them they’re on some serious drugs.

Yet here I am, making a rosemary chicken recipe I found online, filling the house with serious herbal sorcery.

Penelope’s still sick, but today was her first day without fever, so I hope she’ll be good to go sometime tomorrow. Taking care of Lilly Belle has been tough—I’m still a raw beginner when it comes to doing this stuff.

She’s cute, though. Spending time with her this week has melted me. At this point, it’s going to hurt when she has to go…but does she have togo?

I wouldn’t have even thought of really giving this situation a go, but Penelope getting sick changed things. I’ve surprised myself. Sometimes I actually enjoy taking care of Lilly. Of both of them, actually…

“Is that chicken? Is that chicken your uncle’s cooking? Who knew? Who knew, Miss Lilly Belle?” Wilson’s face is an inch away from hers, giving her full access to slap and grab his nose as much as she pleases.

“Hey, I’m a pretty good cook when I put my mind to it, old man. I just prefer notto.”

“You just prefer not to do lots of things, kid.”

I shoot him a look, point the spoon in his direction. “Don’t sassme.”

“Somebody has to.” Brushing me off, he goes back to teasing the baby. There’s only one employee who can talk to me that way, and that’s Wilson. “And I don’t meanme.”

Fine, make that two employees. What’s been going on with me? I set out to keep people at arms’ length, and now look at me, cooking for them like they’re family. I stare into the chicken sautéing in the oliveoil.

“She’s quite impressive, isn’t she?” Wilson picks up Lilly’s brown bear and taps her nose with it until she giggles. “It’s been good of you to take care ofher.”

I sigh in Lilly’s direction. “Yeah, she’s growing on me, Wilson. I have to admit.”

“I was talking about Miss Wallach. She needed someone, Ethan, and you steppedin.”

“What else would I have done? Send her home? Bring in a substitute nanny?”

“Knowing you? Yes,” hesays.

“What do you mean, knowing me?” I scoff then shake my head. “Nobody could replace her, you know that. Ugh, fuck it, you’re right. I would’ve called for an in-house, full-time doctor to take care ofthem.”

“But you didn’t,” Wilson reminds me with a nod. “Seems to me that these women are growing on you. A man needs a good woman in his life and you have two. Well, one is still in baby form, but you know what Imean.”

I’ve been testing the waters these last few weeks, pretending like I’m important to Lilly Belle and Penelope, even to Wilson, but the truth is I’m nothing to them. I’m Mr. Moneybags, that’s it. It’s the only reason people do what I say, listen to my opinion, or have any respect for me. Because I got the cash theywant.

I want to be more, but I’m not really ready. And I don’t think I ever couldbe.

The damage is all still there. The demons, the bad memories, all ofit.

“You’re quiet, Ethan.”

“Yes, Wilson. I’m quiet. You know why—I can’t do this.” I don’t have to extrapolate what I mean. He knows. He’s always known what I’m feeling. He was there for some of it. Not the worst, perhaps, but enough to understand the realities Iface.

After a few minutes of quiet, I turn off the rice and begin plating the food. Wilson says, “Are you proceeding with the adoption?”

“Shh…” I cut him a look. I don’t want to talk about it in case Penelope can overhear. I resort to whispering. “I don’t know. I should. That was the plan. Another part of the plan was not to get emotionally involved, because I knew this would happen.”

“What would happen?”

“This. Indecision. And then emotion would cloud my judgment. But I haven’t been listening to my intuition, and now look where we are. This isn’t what’s best forher.”

“I disagree,” Wilson says. “I think you have been listening to your intuition, and that’s why you’re cooking for your family, Ethan.”

I spin around and face him. “Don’t say that again.”

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