Page 26 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

“You don’t want to talk aboutit.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s okay.” It’s enough. For now. I mean, I don’t know if we’re ever going to talk more, if this is a “thing” between us, if we are a “thing.” At least he’s opened up a bit. So if he recognizes that he can be difficult, does that mean he can address it, work past it? Not that he has to, but I feel like it would make him a happier person. “I’ve had problems, too. Maybe not the same ones, but…”

“You? You look like you come from a great family.”

“I do. They’re the best. My mom works hard, my dad works hard…it’s just that we’ve always had to struggle. You know. Money. It’s always been an issue.”

He scoffs, shakes his head. “Money isn’t the big Band-Aid everyone thinks itis.”

“Only rich people say that, Ethan,” I roll my eyes in his direction. “You don’t think money is a big deal until you don’t have any, so trust me—it’s a bigdeal.”

“Fine, I accept that. I’m only saying it’s one of life’s biggestlies.”

“What is?” I ask. Lilly Belle lunges forward, grabs the bear, and shoves it into her mouth. “Yes! She didit.”

He sniffs a laugh under his breath. “See what I mean? You love the little things. You’re so good at what you do. I suck at this. I suck at babies. I suck at home life, at domestication, even though I admireit.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you admiredit.”

“I do. I should voice my appreciation more. What I meant before is, money might solve problems but it doesn’t make you happy. Happiness has to come from somewhereelse.”

“Most people say ‘within.’” I crack a smile.

“I can’t agree with that, because that hasn’t been the case for me.” He says it so somberly, it only confirms my belief that Ethan is a tortured soul. “I’ve worked hard all my life for validation, to have things, to build a company from the ground, and it still doesn’t fill thatvoid.”

Good Lord. This man has all the money he could ever possibly want, a gorgeous mansion, he’s blessed with handsome, dashing looks and talent for making my toes curl, even has this beautiful little gift called Lilly Belle who hasn’t ignited his soul yet, and he talks about a void? Like, in his heart? Wow. I don’t know if anything could ever make him happy.

I want so much to ask him about whether adoption is in the cards for Lilly Belle or not. I want to know what’s real. At this point, I just want him to trust me enough to mention it, come clean. Just like he wanted me to trust him duringsex.

Trust—it works bothways.

Could Ethan and I ever be together? Or will he always be this confusing and difficult?

“I could make you happy,” I blurt out suddenly.

My words. Mine. Words that came out of mymouth.

I don’t know why I said that. I blink several times to make sure it was real. What in the fuck would possess me to say such a thing? Still, I believe it’s true. If he would give me a chance, I could share my happiness. I have plenty. I had a great life growing up, and I could show him how love is supposed to be. My parents showed me and my siblings, and I could show him how a happy life is supposed to godown.

I just don’t know that I should.

“That’s quite possibly the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Ethan says, studying my face like I’m some strange specimen of bird or flower, his bright gaze flitting over my features. The next thing I know, he’s leaning over the plush bear to take my face in his hand and kissing me. Softly, sweetly, with purpose.

When the moment dissolves, Lilly Belle is staring up at us. “Bababababa,” shesays.

Once Silly Lilly goes down for her nap, Ethan leads me to his room on the opposite side of the house. I’ve been here two weeks, yet I’ve never seen where he sleeps. I feel like I’ve entered Oz, another dimension, the “upside down.” Walls are painted a peaceful light gray, and his bed is perfectly made, of course. My stomach hurts from how nervous I am. We’ve had sex twice now, but this feels different.

“When baby sleeps, the parents sleep, right?” Sitting me on the edge of his bed and lowering his face to kiss me again, he’s in no hurry to get me undressed. Did he just call us “parents?”

We kiss, and with each kiss, I feel myself connecting to his mind and soul a little more. Soon, we’re lying in bed kissing for what feels like hours, my body yearning for more but my heart only wanting this. Kisses. Hands in my hair, on my face, sliding down my back. Kisses, deep and intimate. More intimate than anything else we’ve done together. Ethan knew what was missing. I didn’t think he was capable of holding himself back physically, but maybe I don’t know him that well. Scratch that—I know I don’t know him thatwell.

What is happening?

Why is he ravaging me one night then making love to my mouth the next? Where are we going on this journey? It seems that we don’t know and we don’t care. We’re just going to ride this wave until it breaks and then we’ll find out where we stand once we land ashore.

All I know is that his hands entwined in mine feel like I’ve always known them. Like they were meant for mine. I know he’s had to have touched dozens of women in his life so far, but right now, his big, strong hands are mine. These perfect nails, his perfect veins roping over his skin, so sexy, I can’t stand it. But he doesn’t want more than this tonight. He only wants to hold me. And kiss. And sleep.

And I’m good withit.

So good, in fact, I fall asleep dreaming this is my life—forever.

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