Page 25 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

Penelope

Something has shifted.Not sure what itis.

But Ethan has been out of his home office more, banging around the kitchen, walking around the house, and even venturing upstairs, which I now call Neverland since he banished us here. Ever since the episode in the gym and shower the other night, we’ve been gravitating towards each other, like two molecules hovering and swirling near each other, never quite connecting. Not a very scientifically accurate, but that’s how it feels.

He’s not as super strict as before. Though I’m respectful of his rules by staying upstairs, he hasn’t barked at me, hasn’t come to check my door at night, but I know he wants to see me. It’s like he’s been trying to do it in a more…organicway.

Every so often, he’ll appear in the doorway to the nursery to say things like, “Did you callme?”

“No…”

“Oh, I thought I heard my name. Well, in any case, text if you need anything.”

“I will.” I smile.

“But you can come in…if you want.” I gesture to the colorful foam floor mat where Lilly Belle is busy reaching for a plush bear, a line of drool sliding from her lips in her intense concentration.

At first, he seems to think it’s a bad idea, then he walks in, but instead of sitting on the floor with us, he sits on the edge of the glider, knees apart, hands together. He looks more casual than I’ve ever seen him, in sweatpants and T-shirt. He looks younger, like a kid my age. “What’s she upto?”

I’m confused by his sudden interest, though happy for it. “She…is getting ready to crawl any day now. I have to ask Wilson to order the gates.”

“The gates?” His eyebrows dance.

“For the top of the stairs? To make sure she doesn’t fall when she starts getting more mobile?” He really is clueless about babies. I don’t know what else to say to him. Do we talk about the other night? Do we continue to pretend like it’s nothing? Like bending over so he can lick my ass in the shower is all part of the job description?

I have to admit, I liked it. I’m not sure if it was because of the physical sensation, or because it was Ethan, of all people, kissing my ass, because he’s so incredibly sexy, but I’m not sure it matters. Sex is all in the mind, and if I like what he did to me it’s because of how it made me feel abouthim.

The question is, do we need to stop, or is this going somewhere?

“Ethan,” I begin saying. My sigh comes out heavier than intended. “I’m not sure where we stand…exactly.”

“Do we need to know?” he counters, leaning back in the chair.

“Well, yes. This is tricky territory, don’t you think? I don’t want to jeopardize my job, but I also need to know what you’re thinking.” Oof, wrong words. Ethan isn’t the type of man who likes talking about what’s thinking or feeling, much less to a needy woman.

He glances away at the window then down at his phone. Finally, he casts a look at me, blue eyes slicing through me. “You won’t get fired. You’re amazing at what you do, Penelope. I mean, look atyou.”

I smile and breathe out in relief. “Thanks.” I pat down Lilly Belle’s diapered butt. “But she makes iteasy.”

“You make it easier. I couldn’t do this.” He’s quiet for a while, as he watches me and Silly Lilly. There’s something deeper than what he’s trying to say, and I’m not sure what it is. I don’t want to pry, though. Something tells me that if I push him, he’ll pullaway.

“About the other night…” he begins. “It was…amazing.”

Whoa…yes.My heart soars, released from its holding pattern. No, it doesn’t mean anything more than that—amazing—but at least it wasn’t a mistake in his eyes. “It was,” Isay.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I can be difficult.”

“You? Hell, no. I’ve never worked for a jollier man.” I give him a smartass smile.

Luckily, he takes the jab, then moves to the floor where he sits cross-legged. Picking up the little plush bear, he moves it closer to the baby where she can easily reach it. I take it and push itback.

“We want her to work for it. You know…goals.” I laugh.

“Got it. Anyway, I know you overheard my mother the other day. My relationships with my family haven’t always been what they should be. Lots of things in my past have made me…reticent.”

That’s what I figured, that there was more to the story. “I’m sorry to hear. What kinds of things went on between you all?” I figure since he’s the one who opened this door, it’s okay toask.

At this, he sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Now, he takes the plush bear and wiggles it back and forth to make it look like it’s dancing. Lilly Belle responds by pumping her little arms and legs even harder to try and get it. “It’s long and boring and honestly…”

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