Page 57 of Come Back to Me

I stand there stunned for a minute, before heading back to the patio and sitting on the two-seater bench.

Five minutes later, Jack comes out and sets two mugs of coffee down on the table before he sits, not next to me as I’d hoped he would, but across from me. He doesn’t look at me and, for the first time since we started dating, I feel uncomfortable in his presence. Desperately needing to do something with my hands, I reach for a cup of coffee and raise it to my mouth, tilting it to take a drink.

He puts his hand out. “No, that one’s not —”

His eyes fall at the same time my face involuntarily reacts with pursed lips and a scrunched nose as the familiar taste of his sweet-cream creamer and the burn of alcohol assaults my tastebuds. Realization dawns on me.

“Jack, is there whiskey in your coffee? It’s eleven a.m.?” It comes out as a whisper.

When he doesn’t answer me, I try again. “Jack, I’m worriedabout you. You’re drinking, a fair amount, it seems, and you’re not talking to me. We… we barely see each other.” I hate the sadness and pleading my voice carries.

“Annie, I’m fine. I’ve just been dealing with a lot, okay? I’ve been busy.”

I watch him for several long moments, trying to decide if I should push.

“You haven’t been back in the ER since… since Teddy died,” I whisper. I don’t miss his sharp inhale at my words.

“I’m… I’m preparing to take over as captain. I’m busy during the day. I told you I wouldn’t be on squad runs once I made captain.” He’s talking to me, but his eyes never meet mine. Instead, he just focuses his gaze beyond me.

“Listen, I don’t mean to cut this short, but I have some things I have to get done today. How about I text you and we make plans to get dinner this week?” He doesn’t give me more detail than that. He stands, clearly ready for me to go.

And with that, I’ve been dismissed. Another day off we aren’t spending together.

I decide to get up and walk around the ER for a few minutes to see if I can reset my mind back to the work I need to do.

I’ve seen Fitz on squad runs and he tries to reassure me he’s keeping an eye on Jack and giving Ben updates on how he’s doing. He promises me that Jack will be okay. He’s just processing his grief. Jack and Fitz haven’t worked together long, but I’m glad they’ve become close friends over these last few months.

Each day I know Jack is at work, I hope that I’ll see him come in. So far, he hasn’t, and today’s no different. It’s a B shift, but when I’m heading back to my office and I see Fitz walking in at the front of a stretcher, it’s not Jack at the other end… once again.

A few minutes later, I’m back at my desk when there’s aknock on my office door and I look up to see Fitz and his new partner, who I don’t recognize.

“Hey, Annie, I just wanted to introduce you to our newest firefighter down at Station Three. This is Finn Bannon. Finn, this is Annie Brooks. She’s the Assistant Manager here at First City and one hell of an ER nurse,” Fitz says, introducing us.

“Good to meet you, Annie.” Finn smiles and shakes my hand.

I shake his hand back and welcome him to First City. We make small talk for a few minutes, but then their radio goes off, alerting them to another medical call and they say their goodbyes.

I look down at my watch and realize if I don’t leave in the next five minutes, I’m going to be late. I’m having dinner tonight with Shayna, but I need to head home first and pick up Beanie. We’ve decided on a local burger place near her house since they still have patio seating for these last few nice fall evenings—and they’re kid and dog friendly.

By the time Bean and I arrive forty-five minutes later, Shayna and Tommy are already here. I have no trouble finding where they’re sitting because Tommy yells out for Beanie in his excitement over seeing his four-legged friend. When Bean sees him, his tail wags excitedly.

It is lovely being out to dinner with them and a much-needed distraction. Tommy is animatedly telling me all about his first few weeks of kindergarten and his new friends. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on his teacher and it’s adorable. It’s actually refreshing to have an evening that feels somewhat normal and has a little joy in it.

Once we’re done eating, Tommy plants himself on the ground with Bean, who of course is being the best boy ever. Tommy leans against him while coloring in the small activity book that came with his kid’s meal.

“Mom, I’m gonna color a picture for Uncle Jack. That will make him happy again, right?” he asks with the innocence of a child.

“That’s a great idea, buddy. I bet Uncle Jack will love it and he can put it on his locker at work,” Shayna says without missing a beat.

As we nurse our glasses of wine and Tommy is distracted with coloring, Shayna looks up at me, and I have a feeling the light tone to our evening is going to change.

“How is Jack doing, Annie? We haven’t seen him much… It seems like he’s avoiding the family.”

I hesitate, but then decide that Shayna is my friend, and I can trust her. “I’m really worried about him, Shayna,” I say, looking down to be sure Tommy isn’t listening. “He hasn’t stayed at my house in over a week. He won’t talk to me about how he is feeling, and…”

“And what?” she asks, looking concerned.

“I’m concerned about his drinking. He’s never been a big drinker in the time that I’ve known him, but suddenly he’s drinking often and has been drunk at least once that I’m aware of. It’s not like him. He also hasn’t been back in the ER since… since the day Teddy died. I don’t know if he’s avoiding it because of the memories from that day or if he’s avoiding me. Maybe both.”

---