Page 99 of All of Me

“I know, buthe’snot.”

Seconds later, Adam’s reply pops up, and my chest tightens further.

Adam:

Seriously? You don’t trust me.

No, jackass. I don’t.

“Unbelievable,” I mutter, shaking my head in disgust. “He always does this shit–turns it around on me like I’m the problem.” The anger bubbling inside me is familiar and unwelcome. I can feel the words I want to say building, sharp and unkind, but I know I need to rein it in for Sara’s sake.

Taylor rolls her eyes as I hold out the phone to show her his response. “Typical.”

Her bluntness makes me smile, if only for a second. It’s nice to have someone in my corner, someone who sees Adam for who he really is without me having to explain it.

Me:

This isn’t about not trusting you. This is about making sure Sara and Ruby are safe and cared for while they are with you. I just find it a bit odd that you haven’t taken the girls since you and Katie split up and now that you have another woman who can take care of them, you’re eager to have them again. Seems like maybe you’re the one that can’t take care of them on your own.

Adam:

That’s rich coming from the woman who moved some random dude into her house within a month of meeting him.

Fuck.

The air leaves my lungs, his words hitting harder than I expect but exactly as he intended. I hate that he can still do this to me–the way he makes me question my choices, even when I know I’ve done everything for the girls. I hate that, in some twisted way, he’s not entirely wrong, but that doesn’t mean he’s right, either.

“Don’t let him get to you,” Taylor says, her voice cutting through the haze of anger and guilt clouding my mind. “He’s just trying to deflect because he knows you’re right.”

I nod, literally biting my tongue as I carefully type out my next response.

Me:

Can I just meet her before you take them? Please?

The silence stretches, and I can feel Taylor watching me, her gaze heavy with concern. Finally, another message comes through.

Adam:

Fine. When do you want to meet her?

I exhale, the tension in my chest loosening just a little.

Me:

Tomorrow is fine.

I resist the urge to say thank you because I refuse to give him the satisfaction. I set the phone down and look at Taylor. “There. Done.”

Taylor gives me a long look, her brow furrowed. “You okay?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. And that’s the truth–I don’t know if I’ll ever feel okay when it comes to Adam and the girls.

Hoping for a change of subject, I seize the first thing that comes to mind. “What ever happened between you and Nick? You mentioned a while ago that you guys were seeing each other again, but then never brought it up again.”

Taylor arches an eyebrow, her lips curving into a teasing smile. “That desperate for a change of subject, huh?”

“Yes. Absolutely,” I admit, the words coming out in a rush.

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