Page 26 of All of Me

She tastes fucking delectable.

I can tell she’s already close to orgasm as her body tenses. I pull my face away from her just enough to whisper “not yet,” against her skin, encouraging her to stay her orgasm as long as she can to intensify the feeling. She listens and I slowly slide one finger inside her to test the waters; she moans. “Is this okay?” I ask. She hastily nods. “Good girl,” I praise her. The words alone make her lose her mind, and my cock throbs in my jeans, begging for attention, but tonight isn’t about me. It’s about making her feel wanted, needed, and appreciated.

I bring my mouth close to her clit again. She cries out my name when I make contact, begging for release. I slide a second finger into her sweet pussy, moving at a glacial pace, curling my fingers up to hit the spot she loves so much.

“I can’t–” she breathes. “Owen…”

I moan into her clit, giving her permission to let go. I consume every drop as she comes undone on my fingers while I lap at her clit.

“So fucking delicious,” I say, pulling my fingers from her and sliding them into my mouth, relishing the taste of her cum on my tongue. I lick my fingers clean before leaning down to kiss her so she can get a taste for herself.

“God, that’s… so fucking hot,” she pants through our kisses.

“Yes, you are.” My words are a low growl against her lips, and she smiles–a soft, radiant and sated smile. I kiss her again, slower this time, savoring the moment. The world fades away for a while, leaving only us, tangled together in peace.

Later, as she lies curled against me, her head resting on my chest, I press a kiss to her hair and hold her close. “You know this is it for me, right?” I whisper. “You, the girls, Barrett… this is everything I’ve ever wanted.”

She doesn’t say anything, but the way she clings to me, the way her breathing slows as she relaxes in my arms, tells me she feels the same.I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. I watch out the bedroom window as the snow falls softly outside, blanketing the world in quiet stillness. Before long, I hear the tell-tale whimper escape her lips and I know she’s asleep. The faint glow of the Christmas lights from outside dances across her face and I’m struck again by her beauty. My own eyelids fall heavy as her soft, steady breath lulls me to sleep.

eleven

PIECE BY PIECE - KELLY CLARKSON

CALLIE - DECEMBER 4, 2013

It’s around five in the morning and Owen is already up when I shuffle into the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee wraps around me like a hug. He’s standing at the counter, pouring coffee into his travel mug, his broad back turned to me. He already has his work clothes on–worn jeans, a long-sleeved neon yellow shirt, and his heavy Carhartt jacket draped over the chair. I’m glad I get to see him before I head back to work this morning too. His presence gives me the comfort I need right now.

He turns when he hears me come in, his lips twitching into a tired smile. “Morning, Dollface.”

I try to smile back, but it doesn’t quite feel right. Rather than forcing it, I remind myself that no one smiles that much and make a bee-line for the coffee pot, pouring myself a cup before leaning into him.

Owen wraps his arms around me, and I can tell he sees straight through the smile I’m still trying to force. “You okay?”

I nod, though I’m not sure I am.

His gaze flickers over my face, his brows drawing together slightly. He sets his mug down and settles his hands on my hips. “You don’t have to go back today, you know.” His voice is soft, careful, like he’s afraid one wrong word might make me detonate.

I shake my head, staring down into my coffee. “I need to.”

“Why?”

I exhale, gripping the mug tighter and trying not to get frustrated with him. We’ve been over this but I know he’s just trying to be helpful and I love him for it. “Because I’m never really going to feel ready, and I can’t keep depending on you to pick up the slack. It’s my responsibility to take care of my girls.”

He looks at me in a way that breaks my heart. I can tell I’ve hurt his feelings by implying the girls are mine alone. His jaw tightens. “Callie–”

“I feel like I’ve lost myself, Owen.” The words spill out before I can stop them. “I love Ruby, I love Sara, I love you and Barrett. But I feel like I’ve been swallowed whole by being a mom, and I don’t know how to come back from that other than getting myself back out into the real world and contributing to our family.”

His expression softens, there’s understanding in his eyes.

“I just want to feel normal again,” I say.

Owen nods, reaching for my hand. “Okay,” he says quietly and I appreciate him for not fighting me on this. “Just… be easy on yourself today, alright?”

I exhale, my fingers tightening around his. “I’ll try.”

A couple hours after Owen has left for work, I glance at my reflection in the mirror and sigh. My body doesn’t feel like mine anymore. I’m still getting used to the curve of my belly, the swell of my full breasts, the stretch marks that map out my journey through pregnancy. The ache in my back from the epidural is just another reminder of how my body has changed, the bruising from it still visible weeks later. This is the first time I’ve given birth while being in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship that prior to giving birth a couple weeks ago, included a whole lot of sex.

I adjust my shirt to make it not cling too tightly. Nothing fits me right anymore. Thank God leggings are the style because I’ve been living in them, nursing bras and the baggiest t-shirts I can find. Every outfit I’ve tried on reminds me of how much I dislike my body these days. Breastfeeding has helped me lose some baby weight, but I have a long way to go before I’m comfortable in my own skin again.

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