Page 57 of Steps

We sit on a bench and gaze out at the dark waterfreckled with lights from buildings and boats.

“So are you going to keep thinking about it then?”he confirms.

Mind made up, I inhale and exhale deeply beforeanswering, “I’m done deliberating. I want to date you.” My body feelsweightless now that I’m not fighting it anymore.

A smile reaches his lips. He presses a sultry kisson my mouth then returns to gazing at the harbor.

Something pops in my head, and I ask, “Why did youstare at me like that the first night we met?”

Varen chuckles short and glances down at theconcrete. “My first thought wasn’t appropriate.”

“Oh?” I dip my head and peer up at him, curious.“What kind of thought did you have? Tell me.”

He turns to me. “I thought you were hot, and Iwanted to sleep with you. Then when my dad started asking you questions, I realizedyou were different.”

“Different?” I repeat, creasing my forehead.

“Sweet. Kind. Down-to-earth.” Varen takes ahold ofmy hands. “Then, that moment upstairs. Something happened.”

So he felt it too.

“You’re actually pretty inspiring, you know. Everytime I see you, Toya, I wonder whether my mom would like the person I am now.”

I pull one hand away to touch his face. “All youcan be is yourself. Sure you have things to work on, so do I, so does everybodyelse. But you’re not a lost cause, Varen. I wish you could see that.”

He swathes his arm around my shoulder. “I do now,I see it through your eyes.” He leans in and kisses me gently.

Snuggling into his side, I rest my head againsthis shoulder as we continue staring out at the harbor and talking about ourselves.

“What about your grandparents?” I ask.

“My dad’s parents are from Scotland. My mom’sparents passed.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He jerks me lightly. “It’s okay. We weren’t reallyclose, either.”

“Have you ever been to Scotland?”

“Twice. When I was five and ten.” He wraps one ofmy curls around his finger. “My grandparents live in this old castle; they havehorses and farmlands that go on for miles. You’d feel like a real princessthere.”

I scoff. “Yeah, right. Stop shitting me.”

He chuckles. “I’m not. They really live in acastle.”

“Well, you’d have to show me pictures of you andyour grandparents at this castle.”

Varen kisses my forehead. “I’ll do more than that.I’ll take you with me on our next trip.”

Our next trip? With his dad, and possibly with mymom. As a family. Sometimes I get lost in the moment until something comes upto remind me we’ll be stepsiblings soon.

“Did you write about those things in your diary?Is that why you didn’t want me to read it that day?”

I straighten from his side. “Yeah. It has everyemotion; every hurtful moment, and the happy ones with my gran.”

“Hm.” He rubs my arm affectionately. “I feel likeI’d know you completely if you let me read it.”

A smile reaches my lips as I look at him. “Youwould. But then you’d miss out on all the fun that comes with spending timewith me.”

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