Page 58 of Steps

“True,” he utters. “It is fun getting to knowyou.”

Varen tows me back into his arms. We talk and talkinto the wee hours until the people walking around the park become fewer.

“It’s late. I’m sure you’re tired,” he says.

I wobble my head. “Not really. I could stay up allnight.”

We chuckle after I yawn. “Yeah, sure.”

Getting up from the bench, Varen reaches for me,and we walk back to his car in the lot.

He drives slower than usual on the way to thehouse. When we finally reach, I notice all the lights are still off. So perhapsmy mom hasn’t realized I’d snuck out. Maybe she doesn’t care.

Varen pulls into the garage and parks next toDaniel’s Range Rover, shutting off the car.

“Want to go to the river after school?” I ask.

His phone buzzes in his pocket before he cananswer. His expression shifts when he reads the text, and he begins playingwith the piercing at the left corner of his bottom lip, contemplating it seems.

“What is it?” I ask with a scowl.

He heaves deeply. “Finn has something for me.”

A sick feeling rises in my stomach, replacing thefuzzy one I’ve had all day. “Don’t go. Thought you wanted to try a better wayto cope?”

“It helps me sleep.” He can’t even look me in theeye.

I touch his arm. “Please don’t go. Stay with metonight. Talk to me.”

Varen brings his gaze to me at last. He lingers awhile then drops it to his phone. “I’ll just take one to sleep.”

“Have you ever thought about the possibility thatyou might not wake up one of these days? How could you risk your life likethat? Varen, if you’re addicted, please talk to your dad and get help.”

“Look,” he grunts, annoyed by my words. “Toya…just go to bed. I’ll see you later.”

My heart and my head hurt. I pick at my dress as Iwatch him fidget in his seat and comb over his hair frustratingly.

“We had such a good day,” I whisper.

Varen hisses. “Don’t be one of those girls.” Hecrumples up his face as he glances at me. “Don’t cling.”

I suck my teeth. “You know what? Fine. Go do drugsand fuck all the girls you want.” I open the door and slam it shut, not caringif it wakes our parents.

My body tenses as Varen starts the car. I don’tlook back as he reverses out of the garage; instead, I march inside the houseand go to my room.

Peeling off my dress in the dark, I pull the sheetaside and climb into bed in my underwear. Why do I even bother? Varen doesn’tcare enough about himself, so why should I?

But as the hours’ go by, I toss and turn in bedworrying about the bad guy. Did he get the pills from Finn? Did he have sexwith some random girl?

Ugh. Why is he doing this to me?

No. Why am I doing this to myself?

I reach for my phone and call his number. It goesstraight to voicemail.

Damn it, Varen.

Checking the time, I see that it’s after one inthe morning. He’s probably staying out tonight. I set my phone back on thetable and close my eyes, deciding to try and block him from my mind to sleep.

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