Page 139 of Steps

“I’ll reunite you with Varen’s bracelet soon.”

I get a sharp prick in my chest at the sound ofhis name. God, I miss Varen.

“How did you know?” I ask, voice a close whisper.

He sighs. “Your eyes say it.”

“Well, thanks,” I tell him, then open the door andslip out of the car. “See you.”

“See you.”

August waits until I reach the front door beforeleaving.

“Hey,” Alison calls out from the living room themoment I step inside the house. She bookmarks the page she’s reading and setsthe law book on the mahogany coffee table.

I walk over and sit beside her on the sofa.“Didn’t think you were coming home this weekend.”

She places her legs beneath her butt as she facesme. “I wasn’t going to but with Lisa…” She doesn’t need to finish. Iunderstand. “How are you doing?” Her question seems so heartfelt. No one hasasked me that in a while.

“All right.” I shrug. “Been focusing on my mom. Itfeels selfish to think about anything else.”

“Look, Toya, I know I haven’t been supportive ofyour relationship with my brother. Well, considering the situation, not sureanyone could be. But if you want to talk, I’m here.”

It warms my heart to hear Alison say that. Kenyahas a lot going on with her own family. We’ve barely talked since schoolstarted, and I don’t want to bother her with my problems. I don’t want totrouble anyone with how much I miss Varen and how much I’m hurting without him.How could love be so sweet yet so painful?

“Thank you,” I tell her. “But I’m okay.”

Alison veers off into space for a moment, thensays, “I spoke to Varen last night.”

An electrical wave flows through my body. Ianticipate more. “How is he? Does he… hate me?”

She sighs. “I know he doesn’t, Toya. He’s actingtough. But I managed to convince him to go bowling with me tomorrow. We haven’tdone that in a while.”

“Good. That’s good.” I start to get up, feelingsad again. I don’t want to break down in front of her. “Um, I have a bunch ofhomework I need to tackle. I’ll help with dinner later.”

“Okay.” She watches me leave the living room.

33

Alison doesn’t tell me about her time with Varenon Sunday, only that they had fun. Leaving me with all these questions,including how he’s coping with the breakup.

The next week coasts by in a blur. At least I’mdriving my mom’s car to school again, so I don’t have to burden Kenya or takethe bus. But I notice Kenya has become distant and looks as depressed as Ifeel.

Having enough, I push her to talk to me duringlunch on Wednesday. “What’s going on? You’ve been evasive.”

She sucks her teeth. “No different from you. Toya,you barely tell me anything. I have to beg you to tell me about your mom andVaren.”

I sigh. “Sorry. It’s just hard to talk about themwithout crying. Kenya, I want Varen back so badly.”

Her features soften. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”The blue eyeshadow makes the soft brown of her eyes pop. No matter what, Kenyaalways looks good. From hair and makeup to clothes. I hardly have the energy tostyle my curls these days, much less think about what to wear.

“But you’re hurting, too. It’s clear.”

“It’s my mom,” she says, shoulders drooping. “Hercondition has gotten worse. Before, I could easily remind her who I am butnow…” She pauses, looks down at her half-eaten lunch. “Sometimes she doesn’teven talk.”

My heart breaks for her. Everything I’ve beenfeeling is so small to her situation. “I’m sorry, Ken. What does your dad say?”

“He thinks it’s time to put her in that facility.”Her lips quiver as if she’s about to cry. But she breathes deeply and shakesher head, staying tough. “Maybe it’s for the best. She’s my mom, but I can’t doanything for her.”

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