Page 94 of Steps

“What is it?” Alison asks, bubbling witheagerness.

My heart starts to wallop as I stare at Mom, andshe looks at me with hope in her eyes.

Oh, God.

“We’re going to have a baby,” she announces,bouncing in her wedge heels.

My stomach plunges.

“Oh my gosh!” Alison jumps up, thrilled. “That’sawesome!” She and her grandparents hug Mom and Daniel.

I feel as if my heart has stopped. I look atVaren. He appears just as conflicted.

Pushing my emotions aside, I force on a smile andstand to congratulate them.

“I’m happy for you both,” I say, and genuinelymean it. But her being pregnant changes things somewhat for Varen and me. We’llshare a sibling. Can we still be together?

Mom grasps my hand and tows me outside with herinto the warm Scottish air. The sky is starting to turn dark. She touches bothof my arms as she faces me. “I just want to make sure you’re all right,” shesays.

I bob slowly. “Yeah, of course, I’m fine. Whywouldn’t I be?”

She releases a long exhale. “Well, it’s just that,when I became pregnant with you, I was terrified and definitely wasn’t ready tobe a mom, and I may have shown that throughout your upbringing.”

“That’s in the past.” I look down on the stone.

“Truthfully, I never thought I’d be a mom againbecause I saw how much I hurt you and didn’t want to do that to another child.But I’m so happy for this second chance, Toya. With you and this baby.”

Peering up at her, I achieve a real smile. “You’regoing to be a great Mom.”

She beams in her appreciation. “Thank you, Toya.You’re going to be a wonderful big sister.”

Mom wraps her arms around me. My smile falters asI rest my chin on her shoulder. I gaze through the glass door at Varen,standing with his dad, Alison, and his grandparents. They’re talkingcheerfully. But he looks so damn torn.

A huge part of me aches. Does this mean we have toend things?

Loosening her arms from me, Mom motions for us togo back inside.

Daniel’s parents bring out red wine for everyoneexcept Mom. They even allow us kids to drink a little in honor of the happynews. Varen hardly makes an effort to cheer with everyone after Grandpa Kirbymakes a toast.

Gosh. My little brother or sister will beblood-related to my boyfriend, who happens to be my stepbrother.

Can we still date in the mix of such acomplication?

Gawd! I feel selfish to even think like this, butI can’t help it. I don’t want to give up my love. Why didn’t I meet him inschool or somewhere else? Why does he have to be Daniel’s son? Life is sofucking unfair.

“We should catch up on sleep,” Daniel says as itgets later. He drapes his arm around my mom’s shoulder.

“Yes,” Grandpa Kirby agrees in his drawl, gettingup from his chair. “Goodnight everybody. Again, we’re so happy you’re here withus.”

Grandma Kirby’s blue eyes twinkle as she glances aroundat our faces. “Indeed.” She waves, and the two of them wander off to bed first,followed by the rest of us shortly.

Varen sneaks into my room later that night. I’msitting at the side of my bed, riddled with conflict and unable to lie down.

He comes over and touches my arm. “Well, that wasunexpected.”

I sigh deeply. “Crazy how I never consideredthey’d have kids.”

“It doesn’t have to change anything. We can stillbe together.”

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