Page 95 of Steps

“Varen, we’re going to share an actualsibling.They’ll never support our relationship. It’s…”

“It’s what?” he presses, eyes wilting.

I rifle my curls. “It’s gotten so much morecomplicated.”

He gently pulls me to my feet and cloaks me in hisarms. “I’m not giving you up. No matter what, I’ll never let you go.”

As much as I want to believe, it seems unlikelythat we can be together and keep our family. I back away from him and amble tothe large window, moving the drapes aside to gaze up at the starry sky.

Varen walks over and places his hand at my back.“You still want to tell them after the wedding, don’t you?”

I massage the nape of my neck and answer withoutmeeting his eyes. “Maybe we should wait. I don’t want to ruin their happytime.”

He scoffs. “Well, maybe I’m fucking selfish, butI’m sick of hiding and sneaking around. I thought you were, too.”

Twisting, I look at him at last. “I am, but youknow they’ll be upset, Varen. Can’t we just wait a bit longer? They’ve bothbeen through a lot, and this is their second chance at happiness. Let them havetheir joy without us ruining it.”

He crumples his forehead and steps back from me.“Why does it seem as if you’re changing your mind about telling them at all?”

“I’m not.”

“Do you still want to be with me, Toya?”

I lift my hand to his face. “Of course I do. Let’sjust wait.”

Varen swallows hard, Adam’s apple bobbing.“Something changed the moment they announced the baby. I saw it in your eyes.”

He’s right. I drop my hand and chip at my nails.“It’s just… complicated.”

“Is that so?” He huffs. “Well, maybe it’d bebetter for you if I made it less complicated then, seeing as though that’s whatyou obviously want.”

An ache blooms in my chest at his tone and thoseharsh words. “That is not true. Varen…”

He turns away and walks to the door, leavingwithout another word or a glance back at me.

22

Daniel’s friends stop by the estate on Monday forlunch, including August and his parents. There are so many of them they takethe social to the outdoors.

Varen hasn’t shown his face since the nightbefore, and he doesn’t answer when I knock on his door. It’s also locked.

While our parents hang out, August joins Alisonand me in the barn. We assist one of the workers with feeding the horses andfamiliarize ourselves with the different breeds. I’ll get the chance to learnhorse riding later.

“So, when will you start sending outapplications?” August asks me while we’re brushing one of the horses.

I shrug. “Once the senior year starts.”

“Cool. Good luck. Hope you get into JohnsHopkins.”

“Hm.” Alison giggles and passes a sly look betweenus. “I wonder why.”

August clears his throat. He quickly explains,“Oh, I wasn’t implying anything.”

“Sure.” She leaves us alone to take her favoritehorse for a ride, one that’s been in her family since she was a kid.

The air feels awkward between August and me. Hemotions for us to go for a walk.

“You must be excited about the wedding.”AndI’m going to be a big sister.

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