Page 16 of Risks

“I’m sorry that she’s gone, and wecan’t fix it. But at least I still have you.” She pulls me in for a snugembrace. “I’ll be better for you, baby girl.”

It’s nice that she’s hugging me moreof late. I used to cry for her affection as a child.

“You are doing better, Mom,” Iwhisper on her shoulder. “I love you.”

“Oh.” She eases me back, a smilestretching her lips. “I love you, Toya. You have no idea how much.”

Because you barely showed me before.

“Toya!” Kenya squeals when she opensthe door, throwing her arms around me.

“Hey, best friend!”

We giggle and bounce in the spot,thrilled to see each other after months apart, even though we talk almost everyday.

Kenya hauls me into the apartment. Ibriefly get the chance to greet her little brothers and Dad before I’m dragged offto her room.

“Must be exciting to be back home,huh? I bet Varen’s happy.” She follows that with a sly wink.

“Mmhm.” I giggle shyly and touch myneck. “We both are.”

She chuckles.

Plopping down on her bed, we share apillow like we always do when chatting in her room.

“I really miss you, girl.” She givesmy hand a loving squeeze.

“Miss being here. I miss being justa quick car ride from each other.”

Her braids mix with my straightenedhair as she rests her head against mine.

“So, how’s your mom and Daniel?” sheasks. “I don’t see Lisa anymore since she moved.”

“They’re all right,” I murmur,thinking about the recent news. “Um, Mom found out that her father passed.”

“What?” Kenya pushes up on herelbows. “Wait, has she been in contact with him?”

I straighten from the pillow. “Shereached out to him, but he wasn’t open to connecting.”

“Damn.” Sympathy warps her makeup-freeface, brown skin fighting to hold a deep summer tan amid Maryland’s coldweather. She sits up and touches my arm. “I’m sorry, girl. I mean, shit, I don’tknow what to say. How do you feel?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how to feelabout it. I’m sad for my mom, but….” I let out a heavy sigh. “We didn’t knowhim.”

Kenya studies me keenly beforeasking, “Does it make you wonder aboutyourfather?”

I draw air through my teeth, instantlyannoyed. “What’s up with you and Varen? Why do you both think I want to reachout to my sperm donor?”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Christ.”She holds her hands up. “Chill, Toya. I’m sorry I said anything.”

Realizing I overreacted, I look downand pick at her floral blanket. “I’m sorry, Ken. I don’t know where that camefrom.”

Kenya touches my chest with herfinger. “Girl, something’s pent up in there when it comes to him.” She nods foremphasis when I meet her gaze. “I won’t say anything else. Just think aboutthat. Okay?”

After a moment, I reply in a softvoice, “Okay. Can we please change the topic? I’m leaving on Sunday, and I wantto hang out with my best friend.”

“All right.” Her smile resurfaces,and she playfully jerks my arm. “Tell me about the cute guys at your college. Iknow you have Varen, but I’m sure you’ve seen some hot guys.”

I giggle. “Well, there are some inmy classes. Your type. Athletes. Tall, dark, and handsome.”

---