Page 29 of Risks

“Uh, I’m picking up Alison. If youchange your mind, call me. I’ll grab something on the way back.”

“Thank you.”

After a gentle pat on my arm, he headsout of the living room. I set my gaze back on Mom once he leaves.

“I was telling Dan that maybe weshould cancel the dinner tomorrow night. I’m sure you’re in no mood to havepeople around you.”

“No, it’s okay.” I move closer toher. “You guys said you wanted to host a holiday dinner and have friends over.”

“Well, if you’re okay with it.” She relaxesinto the sofa and peers down at her lap, picking at her long sweater.

I sit beside her. “Mom, are youthinking about him? My…father?”

She utters a low sound beforespeaking. “I was wondering how he looks now.”

“Isn’t he your first love? You nevertalked about what happened, and you’d—”

“Toya.” Her head flies up, a fog ofsecrets shrouding her eyes, desperate to stay inside. “Forget that you saw him.We’ve been good. You don’t need him.” She said the same thing when I was alittle girl.

You don’t need that man.

Maybe all this time, I did. PerhapsI still do.

Like a good daughter, I tell her,“You’re right. He doesn’t deserve to know me now.”

“Mm.” Her eyes flicker as if she’sfinding it hard to hold my gaze. “You know what? There’s jambalaya in thefridge. Let’s have that.” She pushes up from the sofa without waiting for ananswer and moseys off to the kitchen.

A voice is shouting in my head. Ikeep thinking back to the diner and how that man and Varen tried to tell mesomething. But I didn’t want to hear it. Too angry and too frightened.

Mom’s probably just as taken abackas I am about the situation. Yet, the way she’s acting is making me even morestressed.

What are you hiding, Mom?

The sudden buzzing in my pocketstartles me out of my thoughts.

Thinking it’s Varen calling again, Itake the phone out to power it off, changing my mind when I see Kenya’s name onthe screen.

“Happy holidays, bestie!” she cheersthe second I answer, boisterous chatter loud in her background. It seems she’sarrived at her dad’s relatives in Gaithersburg.

“Happy holidays,” I reply,attempting to fake a delightful tone.

“Uh-uh. You good, T?” Of course,Kenya would detect something is wrong. We’ve known each other too long.

I walk to the patio doors and look atthe yard, spotlighted with garden lamps.

After a deep sigh, I tell her, “Varenfound my father behind my back.”

“Oh, shit!” she blurts in surprise.“For real?”

“Yeah. It was quite jolting.”

“Damn, girl.” The sounds in her backgroundlessen slightly as if she moved to a quiet room. “Are you okay? Did you talk tohim?”

“No, Ken. I’m never talking to thatman.”

A deep groan follows my words. “I’msorry I’m not there. I can’t imagine how you feel right now.”

“Hm.” I dip my head, staring at the shinyhardwood floor. “Listen, I don’t want to ruin your holiday. You should enjoythe time with your family. We’ll talk when you get back.”

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