Page 28 of Risks

“You would love that, wouldn’t you?For us to break up.” I open the door. “You know, I gave you a chance from thestart, seeing how happy you made my dad. It didn’t even matter that you keptyour distance from me because of my drug habit. And I even managed to put asidethe hurt you caused Toya since she’s forgiven you. But this…” I slowly turn myhead. “I mean it, Lisa. If you don’t tell her before she leaves, not only willI do it, but I’ll also fill my dad in. I’m sure he’d like to know the kind ofwoman you truly are.”

Something close to panic immersesher gaze—fear of losing my dad or Toya.

Leaving my threats hanging in the air,I storm outside and peel off the second I get in the car.

14

I’m so pissed at Varen.

I can’t believe he went behind myback and found my father. And just what the fuck was that flood of relief whenI looked into that man’s eyes? I didn’t realize how half-full my heart had beenuntil I saw him.

Bucketloads of emotions rose to thesurface as if I’d been underwater this whole time, and it astounds me to think Iwanted to run into his arms.

I stop pacing when Mom enters the bedroom.She looks anxious, incessantly flicking her nails.

“I can’t believe Varen did that,” Ifume. “What the hell.”

Her head goes up and down. “Hedidn’t even talk to me about it.” She sucks her teeth. “That boy is presumptuous.”

“He thought he was helping me,” I defendmy boyfriend. It’s become so natural.

Mom cuts to me. “That had nothing todo with you and everything about him. Varen was looking for a way to be evenmore amazing in your eyes, Toya.”

“He’s not like that, Mom.” I lowerto the bed and stare at the carpet. I’m still so riled up from the onslaught ofemotions.

Clicking her tongue, she settlesbeside me and draws me into her arms. “I’m sure it must have been sooverwhelming.” She presses a tender kiss on my forehead. “Are you okay?”

At her question, fresh tears streamdown my face. “I…felt a rush of anger towards him, but….”

“But?” Mom whispers, easing me backto wipe my cheeks with her fingers.

I look at her through blurry eyes.“I…wanted to ask where he’s been and why he didn’t want me.” My voice breaks.

Turning her gaze to the door, shepulls me back into her embrace and rocks me as I weep.

Something inside is screaming ather. I don’t understand why, and I have no clue what’s fighting to come out.

My eyes flutter open to a gray hazein the room.

I reach over to the nightstand, turnon the lamp, and grab my phone, huffing when I see all the missed calls and remorsefultexts from Varen.

I’m still too upset to speak to him.

Straightening from the bed, I shower,haul on jeans and a hoodie, then go downstairs.

Mom and Daniel stop talking when I turninto the living room.

Daniel gives me a look of sympathy,confirming that he’s heard what his son did.

“Hey, Toya. Hungry?” He seems towant to stay off the topic.

I shrug. “Thanks, but I don’t havemuch of an appetite.”

“Okay.”

He refocuses on mom.

She half-smiles and dips her head.

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