Page 19 of Only Forever

Jason’s eyebrows drew in sharply together. “We didn’tgrow apart.” Jason practically spat out the last two words. “You cut me out of your life. Every time I tried to spend time with you, you told me you were busy. You never answered my calls. I distinctly remember the last time we hung out together was at Albert’s Diner. My friends were coincidentally there at another table, and they came over to say hi. They tried to sit down with us, butI told them to shove it, and they went back to their table. You proceeded to tell me that I was a dumb jock, and you were tired of being around me and my dumb jock friends.”

I wrinkled my brow, trying to remember. Ididremember getting upset with him, but it was because I had felt inferior. Jason may just remember his friends being at the diner, but I remembered the girls that had been with them. They were all perfectly groomed and looked way more grown up than sixth graders. I had felt like a little kid, and I couldn’t ignore the looks they kept shooting over at me and Jason, looking in disbelief that we were together.

Jason was right. My feelings of inferiority had made me lash out, and he was the easiest target. I remembered feeing angry that he was out of my league, even as a friend. And it had been easier to ignore him and our friendship than deal with my feelings of inadequacy.

But that was all so long ago. There was no point in rehashing it now.

“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “You’re right. I did push you away. I was feeling insecure and felt like you and I belonged in different crowds. I wish I had been more confident back than to be your friend. But it was so long ago. I can’t change the past, even though I wish I could.”

Jason rubbed his forehead, looking tired. “You’re right. It was long ago. I don’t know why I keep banging my head against a brick wall.” He turned to me, looking defeated. “I’m sorry for bothering you about prom. It won’t happen again.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say. Jason was staring straight ahead, and it seemed like our conversation was over. Not knowing what else to do, I thanked him for the ride and got out of his car.

Chapter Eight

The next few months were a blur. It seemed surreal that high school was coming to an end. Conversations revolved around what colleges people were going to and who they were going to prom with. I tried to block out prom as much as possible. Chloe, Tracy and Monica all had dates, and despite them nagging me to join them for prom without a date, I refrained. Honestly, it was far from my idea of fun to be solo at prom, even though I knew my friends would make sure I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t want to be a burden to them when they should be having fun with their dates. I also had to admit to myself that I didn’t want to see Jason. After our last conversation when he dropped me off, we hadn’t spoken a word to each other. We were worse off than before we had reconnected, because I didn’t even get a wave from him in the hallway. I told myself it was for the best, and soon I would probably never see him again. It left an ache in my chest, but I pushed the feeling away.

I heard that he went to prom with Jillian, and I was extra glad that I hadn’t attended. I didn’t need to see her all over him. After prom, it was only a few weeks until it was time for the graduation ceremony. It was a happy day, but also bittersweet since all my friends were going out of state for college. But, fortunately, we were all staying in Hyattsville for the summer before college, and those few months were an idyllic time. We spent most days lounging at Tracy’s pool or went on day trips to nearby beaches. On rainy days, it was fun just hanging out at each other’s houses and binging on terrible reality shows and eating too much ice cream.

I never saw Jason during the summer. Chloe told me that she heard that he was spending the summer in Chicago, in a pre-college program at his school. I missed him in the beginning, but soon he faded into the background, and things went back tonormal. I wished the best for him and sincerely hoped only good things for him. Maybe one day, we could be friends again.

Summer came to an end too fast, and soon everyone left for their respective colleges. Darrenston College was an adjustment, but soon I found my place. Shelby had decided to go to Darrenston as well, and I was happy to already have a friend there.

I admittedly still thought about Jason every now and then. I wondered how he was doing in Chicago, and if the U of Chicago suited him. I couldn’t help wondering if he was dating anyone. I would be surprised if he wasn’t, since he was so good-looking and charismatic. He would get snapped up quickly.

I had a few admirers in college as well, but I had no interest in dating. I was happy with the small group of friends I had made, and my quiet social life. My mom, on the other hand, started dating a man she met through an acquaintance. I was happy for her because she hadn’t dated anyone since my father left. It was nice to see her excited, and, for once, prioritize herself and her happiness. She was initially worried at first about my reaction, but I reassured her that I was nothing but happy for her. The man, Keith, seemed nice enough and he treated my mom well, which was all I cared about.

They dated for two years, and when they got married my junior year of college, I was ecstatic for her. It was a courthouse wedding, since we really had no family on our side except for distant relatives who we didn’t keep in touch with, and Keith was also alone with both parents deceased and an estranged sister that he didn’t talk to. But it was still beautiful, and it was a happy day.

Everything was going well, and I was hopeful for the future. I hoped everything was going well for Jason, as well.

Chapter Nine

“I can’t believe Professor Wilcox assigned a project over Winter Break,” Shelby moaned as she hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder. “He’s a sadist.”

I laughed at Shelby’s disgusted look. I didn’t blame her for being upset. Her math professor was notorious for being tough, and he seemed to be living up to his reputation. I was lucky that I was an English major, and didn’t have to deal with him.

“That sucks,” I said sympathetically. “Hopefully it won’t take up too much of your break.”

Shelby continued muttering to herself about how it should be illegal to assign projects during break and that she was going to complain to the dean as we waved goodbye. She was done for the day and heading home, while I still had one class left. I couldn’t wait to get it over with so my break could officially start.

It was starting to get dark, and I put my hands in my coat pockets, burrowing them in deep. Although it wasn’t as cold as it usually was in December, it still was cold enough for my nose to feel frozen and my breath to come out in white puffs. I ducked my head against the wind and made my way to my Multimedia Writing class.

“Daphne.”

My head shot up at the sound of my name in an achingly familiar voice. A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. I was shocked to suddenly be looking into Jason’s blue eyes, his expression unsure. I hadn’t seen Jason since our senior year of high school. He looked almost the same, but older and more mature. His dark brown hair was longer than I remembered, and his frame was still long and lean. My heart skipped a beat as I studied him. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.

“Jason,” I said, my voice reflecting my surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s good to see you,” he said, ignoring my question. “It’s been a long time."

“It’s good to see you, too,” I echoed. “But what are you doing here?”

Jason smiled at my insistent question. “You’re looking at a new Darrenston College student.”

“What?” I asked in confusion. “What do you mean? What about the University of Chicago?”

Jason sighed and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking tired. “University of Chicago was great, but I don’t know if you’ve heard about my mom.” He continued when I shook my head. “She was diagnosed with stomach cancer in October. I know it’s been tough for my dad and Eric, and I just want to be home while she’s in treatment. So I decided to transfer here.”

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