Page 23 of Loathe

“It’s not okay, I killed him. I know he deserved it, but I never thought I’d be the one to do it, and now that means the mafia is under my control. I’m not sure I want that either,” she said between sobs. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you when I heard the guns go off. I heard bullets hit the brick outside and I thought they were going to come through the wall to me. All I could think about was having to live without you and I can’t do that.”

I didn’t know how to help her or if I even could, so I held her in my lap beside her father’s bed and let her cry it out. I wanted so badly to make it all go away for her, but I knew I couldn’t do that. She had to deal with the pain she was feeling on her own, and I hoped she could do that without spiraling into a dark place like she had already been in before. She finally calmed down enough that we could leave the room and as we made our way to the front door a man stopped us.

“Now that monster is gone, will you be taking over his duties?” he asked Phoebe.

I had wondered that myself before we even put the plan in place, but I hadn’t said anything to her about the things I had been thinking. I wanted her to do what she wanted to do and not worry about what anyone else thought. It was her decision and she had to be the one to make it. I would support her no matter what she chose to do, of course, but I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about how cool it would be for the club to have ties to a mafia chapter.

I looked at her as she thought about what she wanted to do. I squeezed her hand to let her know that I was going to support her no matter what she did. “I think you should do it, Phoebe,” I whispered in her ear.

She looked at me with a smile on her face and I thought I saw a hint of pink form on her cheeks. I’d never seen that happen with her before and I kind of liked it. The flush of red to her cheeks made me feel things in my body that I didn’t need to be feeling while around other people. I smiled at her as I tried to hide what she was doing to me and waited for her to answer the man’s question.

“I hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess it’s something I should do since it would’ve been mine one day anyway. Plus, I am the reason he’s gone. I know nothing about running the mafia though,” she replied.

“I’m sure you can do it with help from the right people,” I chimed in.

She gave me a look like she wanted to kill me, but I knew in my heart that it would be a good thing for her to take over. “I’m sorry if I seem so pushy, it’s just that I know you can do it. You can do anything you set your mind to and I’m sure there are plenty of people that will be willing to help you figure things out. I just don’t think you should give it up without trying first,” I said as I wrapped my arm around her waist.

She smiled and nodded her head. I wasn’t sure if she really believed in herself like I believed in her, but she agreed to give it a try and that’s all I wanted. I wanted her to have the best things in life and I wanted her to be happy no matter what I had to do to make her happy or what she needed to do for herself. I was glad it was all over and I was sure she was relieved too. I couldn’t wait to get back home and figure out the next step in our life together.

By the time we finished talking about her future with the mafia, we could hear sirens in the distance. We knew we better get going if we didn’t want to get caught here, no one needed to go to jail over ridding the world of a monster even if it was illegal. I grabbed Phoebe’s hand and led her down the front steps of the estate, which were now in need of repair. I laughed at the thought of having to get it repaired so that Phoebe and I could move into it, but deep down I hoped that she wouldn’t want to move away from the place we both loved. I looked at her as I opened the door of the car for her.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” I asked her as I hugged her to me.

“More than ready,” she replied as I helped her climb inside the car.

I knew that a new adventure was about to begin, but I also knew that we could get through anything as long as we had each other. Even her being a mafia PrezPrez.

I took her hand in mine as we took back streets and alleys to get away and avoid suspicion from those responding to the shootout. I was sure most of the club was doing the same.

I began to stroke the back of her hand with my thumb and looked at her, finally ready to tell her everything. Hell, I had been ready. There had just never been a good time.

“Since you wouldn’t let me talk before, it’s my turn,” I pushed quietly, getting her attention. Her eyes were ringed with red from all the crying, but at least that had stopped. “Everything you said before you walked in there made my heart swell. I’ve wanted you since that first night in your bed. I love your style, the way you take charge of a room, all of it.” I smiled at her.

“Love?” she rasped out.

“That word is funny for us, isn’t it? You’ve had men using you for so long, you don’t know how not to be used. My past, well, it isn’t the same as yours, but I know what it’s like to be unwanted. I grew up in foster care. My parents didn’t want me. I was a slave, a punching bag, a paycheck going from family to family. And straight out of the system I came here. Wanted to make my own family and work my way up. Never would I have dreamed of finding someone like you.”

Fuck, now I was gonna tear up.

“Cameron?” she asked, her hand brushing my cheek. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a fucking fool, Phoebe, and that’s okay. Whether I get you for a week or a lifetime, I want it all. I want to be with you for real. I’m in fucking love with you.”

“You are a fucking fool, Cameron!” A laugh escaped from her throat. “But I love you too.” She pulled me in for a kiss, making me the happiest fool ever.

Epilogue

Phoebe

I didn’t know what I was going to be getting myself into when I decided to put a bullet in the brain of my so-called father and take over his dynasty. I often told myself what an absolute idiot I was for doing so, but it was technically mine anyway since my mother had helped the bastard build his empire before he got her killed. I hadn’t realized that I’d get to travel to different places and I enjoyed that part of it. I was on my way home from Romania where it had been business as usual, and I was definitely getting the hang of things.

I sat nervously on the plane, my stomach rolling like it was tying itself in knots. It had been a long time since I’d flown and flying two times in a row was throwing my body for a loop. I fought the urge to vomit while the plane took off. When it was finally in the air and we got the all clear to unbuckle our seat belts, I had to make a mad dash for the bathroom. I quickly shut the door and gave the toilet everything I’d eaten that morning. I rinsed my mouth out and headed back to my seat, hoping that would be the last of the puke.

After having to repeat the process a few more times, I started to wonder if it was something more than just flying issues. I hoped it wasn’t a stomach bug, I didn’t want to take anything back to Cameron and the other guys. I exited the bathroom and the flight attendant gave me a sympathetic look as I passed by to get to my seat. I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, hoping the flight would go by fast and I would feel better once I returned to solid ground. I spent the rest of the flight trying to read over papers and documents that were given to me from my “father’s” estate and from business partners in Romania.

I had told them that things were going to be a little different with me running the show, and I wasn’t sure how they’d accepted it. No one had tried to kill me yet, so I thought it went well. I knew that no one liked change and it was going to take some getting used to for everyone, myself included. My stomach rolled again, and I groaned inwardly as I stood from my seat and made my way down the narrow aisle toward the small bathroom.

I told myself I’d have to get used to flying if I was going to make a career out of running a mafia as I left the bathroom for what seemed like the millionth time. I smiled at the flight attendant as she sat a cold Sprite on the tray in front of me. I opened the fizzy drink and sipped it slowly and sighed as it calmed the uneasiness of my stomach. Just as I left the bathroom yet again, the captain announced our descent, so I quickly went back to my seat and fastened my seat belt. We finally landed and I quickly grabbed my carry on ready to find Cameron and get home. I saw him standing at the gate as soon as I walked down the narrow hallway from the plane. I ran to him and threw my arms around him ready to be home.

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