Page 14 of Born Daddy

“Fuck that shit.” Rogan startled himself with his own outburst. “Look. He stopped being my friend the moment I discovered he was a psycho. Hell, maybe that’s how he was all along, and I simply didn’t know. Trust me, that’s been eating at me too.” Rogan sighed. “Whatever you’re comfortable sharing with me is fine. I don’t want you feeling you’re alone, and honestly? Talking this nightmare through is helping me too.”

“Seriously?” Tate sounded surprised. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

The anxiety, the fear of being a problem must eat at this kid all the time.

“No, Tate. Not even close to being a burden.”

“Okay. Not much makes me uncomfortable, or shy, or any of that. I mean, yeah I get shy around people in social situations, but not sexual.” He snorted. “I’m sure that sounds crazy to you because you’re not in the lifestyle. But after a while, sex and nudity and all that isn’t such a big deal. I actually felt safer hiding behind the stuff I did because then I didn’t have to talk or try and be interesting or funny or smart. I know I’m the type of guy Doms go after. Just being there and allowing myself to be used however they wanted was good enough for them.”

Tate was right. Rogan didn’t comprehend that part of the lifestyle at all.

“Maybe you can help me understand? I honestly want to.”

Tate seemed like such a sweet man, and Rogan knew there had more to offer than his sexuality.

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

Rogan wondered if maybe Tate had reached his limit for the evening. “Did you want to continue? Or leave it for another time?”

“Actually, I’d rather talk about this part now. It’s not exactly the greatest subject for a coffee shop.”

Rogan’s stomach clenched again. “All right. Go ahead when you’re ready.”

“Well, as I was saying, this one time I was bleeding after this guy fucked me really hard. I’m not sure what happened, because he used lube and all that. But he was holding me down by the back of my neck, and they’d both been drinking a lot, were stoned, so he didn’t prep me all that much. And he was probably two hundred and fifty pounds, and I’m all of a hundred and thirty…or I was at the time.”

Tate’s voice hitched. “A-anyway, Cam totally lost his shit after. And as you know, he’s not that big of a guy. I mean, wasn’t that big. I was crying, hurting and Cam was so furious he punched the asshole in the mouth, actually punched him. I was terrified. I was sure that dude was going to beat Cam bloody.”

Rogan couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, his hand covering his mouth as he listened in horror.

Tate continued, “But then, it got even freakier. This big bear of a guy backed off, like, totally started apologizing and even seemed like he was scared of Cam. Isn’t that crazy?”

Rogan flopped back against the couch cushions, something about Tate’s story eating at him. Maybe he and Tate didn’t have a clue about what Cam was capable of, but there might be those out there who did. People who weren’t known to have associated with him, guys Cam would pick up in dive bars or on the streets. However, he wasn’t about to put any more unsettling thoughts in Tate’s head.

“Well, Cam was very respected in the circles you ran in, from what I understood.” Rogan had read those particular reports before Dan had shut him down. “Perhaps that man—that rapist—didn’t want to have the word get out that he’d hurt you. Isn’t good standing in the BDSM community important? Can affect what clubs you’re allowed to attend?”

“Yeah…maybe.” Tate didn’t sound convinced. “Except I’d never seen him before. Of course, we didn’t go to the club together all that much, like I said.” He let out a long sigh. “I always figured he was cheating on me, that he only kept me because…” Tate sniffed. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

“Dammit, Tate. It matters to me.” Why it mattered so much was beyond him, but his concern over Tate had begun to take on an urgency he couldn’t explain. “Please. What you have to say is important.” Rogan let out a snort. “I guarantee you there’ll be things I’ll want to share with you that I’d never share with Lenny or Mitch or any of my buddies on the force.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t waste my time because they won’t get it. Sure, Lenny and Mitch were friends with Cam, but not in the same way I was with him.”

“Are Lenny and Mitch gay too?”

Rogan had often wondered if part of his closer bond with Cam had been related to their shared orientation, but he knew it went beyond that. A connection had existed between him and Cam that was different than the one he’d had with Lenny and Mitch. Yet another unsettling realization.

“No, Tate. They aren’t. And I have to hand it to them, it was a different time when I was in high school. We all played sports, football. Cam didn’t, but the rest of us did. Even when I was trying to fit in and denying my true self, they knew. But they never stopped being my friend. Then after I came out when we were seniors, and a select few tried to fuck with me, they still had my back. Gotta give them credit for that.”

“Wow. That’s cool. Although, I can’t imagine anyone trying to mess with you.” Tate chuckled. “You seem like you could stand up to anyone.”

Rogan chuckled as well. “We had a couple players on the team who could’ve mopped the locker room floor with me.” Rogan noted that Tate had managed to steer the conversation away from himself and wondered if he was pushing the kid too hard to talk about difficult subjects. “Look, Tate. If you don’t want to tell me something, need to keep it private, please don’t think I expect anything from you. I only want to make sure you know that anything you feel, anything you have to say is important to me. I’m more than happy to listen.”

“That means a lot.” Tate let out yet another sigh, and Rogan’s heart broke for him a tiny bit more. “What I’d been about to say is that I never fantasized Cam was being faithful, or even expected him to be. Knowing I had a Daddy who would keep me, who took care of me, was all that mattered. And he did. So whatever else he was doing, I figured it was none of my business.”

Rogan wasn’t buying it. Not that such a relationship couldn’t be mutually satisfying if the right people were involved, but Tate was too sensitive for that, he could tell. He could even hear it in his voice. Tate had wanted Cam’s unfaithful behavior to be his business, but he’d probably feared he’d lose his Daddy if he challenged him. Rogan rubbed his eyes with thumb and forefinger. Now he was thinking of Cam as a Daddy.

Great.

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